bloglovinBloglovin iconCombined ShapeCreated with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. rssRSS iconsoundcloudSoundCloud iconFill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch.

Tag: confidence

It doesn’t have to be great.

In fact, it doesn’t even have to be good.

We put so much expectation and pressure on ourselves to do something amazing, to be really incredible and innovative and caring and original and… We stop ourselves from doing any thing at all.

We’re not just stopping ourselves. We’re stopping our teams. Our employees, our children. Ideas and dreams dead before they’re given a chance to take flight.

We must give up. Release control. Let things become messy, imperfect and ruined. Then, we will get started. Then, we will finish. Then, we can become better.

Bad work gives you room to improve. Lessons can be learned about how to get it right the next time around. Confidence is built, and habits are established. Habits of creation, productivity, perseverance and strength.

Need a community to help you get out of your own way? Check out Seth’s Your Turn Challenge or request to attend an upcoming dinner in New York City.

The world needs your work — bad, good or great.

A conversation can change your life

When life gets uncomfortable, it’s easy to run. We bury our noses in our phones when we’re bored or anxious. Waiting in line at the store, riding the train to work, even walking around town. A kind word can redirect a bad day, but we’re afraid to say hello.

It’s become too easy to hide. “I’m busy!” “I’m late!” “They don’t know me.”

We’re hiding from ourselves, too, short-changing not only our own potential but that of those around us. Social gatherings have become marred by superficial exchanges. Instead of investing in heart-to-heart exchange, rooms are worked and business cards are flippantly shared. Quantity of connections have trumped quality of conversations.

Relationships can be the spark we need to make big decisions. Stop hiding.

Thoughts become things

Several months ago I made clear what I would do if I had $40,000.

I’m no stranger to the power of making dreams known. There is a creative force behind intention. Set your mind to it, and seemingly distant aspirations become achievable.

This is where we sell ourselves short. It’s terrifying to announce what we want. Not only might it NOT happen, it COULD happen. And then?

The important thing is to have a vision, but not become so fixed on the end result you miss alternatives to getting there. No, I didn’t find $40,000, but a grassroots effort has taken hold, and a group of dedicated, brave individuals have come together to make the Learning House a reality.

Don’t simply wish this holiday season. Write it down, believe that your idea can take flight. Because if you believe it, it can.

Happy holidays from Nepal and from the Project Exponential community worldwide.

The hardest part

The terror, the fear. The realization this is the moment that separates good from greatness. Your chance to succeed, to make your dreams real. The do or die.

Your stomach churns and your heartbeat quickens.

The leap.

You’re not alone.

The school boy entering his first class.
The athlete poised at the starting block.
His first college exam.
Her investor pitch.
Signing the contract.
The alarm goes off.

You’ve felt this before.

You survived.

You moved on to the next, bigger thing.

Accept the fear. It’s part of it. Then begin.

Autonomy (I will teach you to be rich and have a perfect body and find the love of your life)

There is one faucet wheel left in the kitchen. When you turn the water on or off, it drops with a loud CLANG into the tin sink. I’ve offered to have it fixed. “It’s not our house,” they say. I’ve been living here for just over one year; they’ve been here for seven.

I live among the people I work for (and with). Not only have I grown to love them like my own family, I’ve been offered a window into their lives, the trials they must suffer and how they see the world. One of the best gifts in life is a new perspective, and I’ve been lucky to be invited to share theirs.

I’ve compared the psyche of probationers and CMOs, entrepreneurs and monks, diamond sellers and social workers. There’s one significant difference.

It’s what marketing schemes and addiction recovery theories capitalize on. It’s what books promise when they tell you “I will show you how to get rich” and fitness models tempt with chiseled abs and downloadable workout videos. It’s how self help “gurus” sell monthly packages and some people start businesses while others stay at jobs they hate for years on end.

Autonomy.

Autonomy is the belief that you can do, and that you’re capable of doing. People who are depressed lose this. This is the tragedy when you see animals, even people, trapped, locked up, stuck. They’ve lost the belief that their actions have an effect, so they give up. This is the worst thing.

The belief in yourself comes BEFORE any plan or action. It requires confidence and courage. It is the seed from which work and ideas blossom. Where creativity takes flight.

It doesn’t have to be big. One thought, “I can do,” followed by “I am doing,” and finally, “I did it!” tends to ripple. A little thing becomes the next, slightly bigger thing. And before you know it, you’re making dreams come to life.

Start with the kitchen sink.

Tips for college freshmen, relevant to you

MAKE FRIENDS. WITH PROFESSORS.

Supervisors, bosses, managers, religious leaders. Someone who has been assigned a higher rank than you. Regardless of qualifications, we’re taught to defer and do what they say. This can be intimidating.

Unfortunately, power dynamics build chasms in relationships, relationships that have the potential to dramatically influence who we are and what we become. When someone is standing on a pedestal of authority, it’s easy to forget people are people. There’s a person behind the title. It doesn’t matter who or where, we share hard times, worry about money, feel pain when someone has hurt us, fall in love.

Ask questions, listen, exchange stories. Your career will depend on the recommendations of others. And if you’re in a position of prestige, create an environment that encourages discussion. Share where you’re from, what your life has been like, what struggles hold you down, who has been your greatest teacher. People connect with humanity. Let them connect with you.

FORGET ABOUT MARKS.

Early in school our achievements are rewarded. From that first gold star on our paper, we’re trained to believe our worth is based on performance. Focusing solely on recognition can be counterproductive. Without knowing it, we limit our experiences while simultaneously heightening our anxiety. Success becomes the objective, not the process along the way.

Reframe the goal. Your purpose is to worry less and enjoy more.

DO WHAT EXCITES YOU.

“Join clubs! Participate in events! Apply for internships!” This is a college counselor’s way of telling students to find their passion.

The best lessons in life are often learned outside the classroom. These are lessons you’ll teach your own kid. While knowledge can be gained from hours spent pouring over books, you have to live it. Take a hard look at what really matters and set your priority list. Schedule days accordingly.

SAY THANK YOU.

Always, always say thank you. From the moment you leave your home in the morning, people are helping you, going out of their way, doing their best to share with you what they know. Just because you don’t agree or see immediate value, thank those who support your work. Gratitude sustains us and preserves our most valuable relationships.