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Category: Inspiration

Get what you want by working backwards

Big Goals — the ones worth mentioning — typically fall into one of two categories:

1. You really, really want something.

Big Goal: I want to … travel around the world, be the company’s top earner, find a fulfilling relationship, double my savings account, change careers.

2. You want to change your behavior.

Big Goal: I am going to … lose weight, eat mindfully, stop smoking, be independent, make confident decisions, become more organized.

Big Goals sound daunting because they’re not easy (if it sounds easy, it probably isn’t a Big Goal). These kinds of goals often entail major life changes — career, relationship, health — and require concentrated focus and energy.

Lately, many of my meetings have involved some sort of goal setting tirade: how to set goals, frustration with achieving them, fear of failing, uncertainty. Since my days working as a probation officer, I’ve encouraged people to set Big Goals, ones that are both lofty and achievable. The trick to success?

Work backwards.

This may sound counterintuitive, but it works.
After you’ve identified and set your Big Goal(s), you must plan smaller, manageable subgoals that point you in the direction of your identified finish line.

Big Goal: I am going to get fit.

subgoal: I am going to start a food diary.

subgoal: I will pack lunch twice this week.

subgoal: I am going to explore different forms of exercise and find what I enjoy.

subgoal: I am going to schedule workouts into my calendar.

etc.

It’s not enough to write your dream on a board and walk away. Your chances of accomplishing Big Goals proportionally increase with the planning and thought you put into your game plan. Subgoals are essential if you’re looking to knock it out of the park.
Set periodic check-in reminders to help you assess whether you are on track. Think of it as a training plan: no marathoner wills himself past the finish line. Successful race days are the result of many mini-runs, planned efforts set with an end result in mind. There’s a reason step-by-step guides work. They take complex processes and break them down into approachable actions.

Big Goal: I am going to get fit. 

today: I am going to start a food diary.

this week: I will pack a lunch twice this week.

by next week: I am going to explore different forms of exercise and find one that I enjoy.

this month: I am going to schedule workouts.

etc.

Set Big Goals. Don’t cut yourself slack.
Just increase your betting odds by making a plan to get there.
 

Decision making, dream chasing

A friend once posed this simple question. It’s since become etched in my mind:

“If you could do anything, anywhere, what would it be?”

Most of us don’t allow ourselves to answer this, much less answer in a brutally honest way. We’re too busy, too invested in our careers, too preoccupied with our families, too set in our ways to give ourselves the space and time to consider.

Would life change if our heart led the way?

It’s scary to go there. There’s fear of failing, of being the fool, of risking and losing, of making the wrong choice. And then! What would it look like to actually succeed?

We make decisions after rigorous cost-benefit analyses. We talk to our friends, we pay for therapists, we torture ourselves with choices. We wonder which path is the “right one,” the one that will bring us happiness and success and pay for all of our bills and more.

But really, it comes down to this:

1. Does it excite you?

2. Do you believe in the cause?

3. Can you make an impact?

Find people who inspire you to jump, dig deep, and stretch towards the life you’ve always wanted. Create time in your life to view your life from new perspectives. Give yourself permission to dream.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”

-George Bernard Shaw

your dream job is on your desk

What if someone told you that you missed the boat? That the golden ticket to a beautiful home, a happy heart, and an adventurous life was in your back pocket?

What would happen if your phone rang and your boss declared you an asset to the company? If the grocery store clerk looked straight into your eyes and called you a visionary?

What if you found out that “perfect moment” you’ve been waiting for already happened?

What if…

It’s time to find out.

I’ve designed a new offering — part seminar, mentoring circle, book club, networking accelerator, an experience like no other — to challenge you to think beyond “what if” and start venturing into this is it. The first session begins after the holiday season, so you can launch your dreams and your life in a whole new way in 2013.

Learn more about the why and the what here.

The company and the cook

There’s a lot you can control in this world. There’s a lot you can’t.
Focus on what you can, and the rest will take care of itself.

“The success of the dinner depends as much upon the company as the cook. Discordant elements – people invited alphabetically, or to pay off debts – are fatal.”

–Ward McAllister

A free ebook

Something big is happening. A movement is bubbling, rising to the surface. And it’s about relationships.

People are recognizing the true value of connection. They are refusing to settle for superficial conversation and are looking for relationships that hold real meaning in their lives. More and more individuals are organizing, coming together, creating change. The capacity for what can happen when the right people find themselves united is infinite.

We each have the ability to contribute to this movement by creating more connections in our own world.

I’ve written a free ebook to encourage you to do so. I hope that after reading, you’ll be inspired to bring together the people in your circle, in whatever way you can. A dinner party is a great way to start.

an entrepreneur’s two sided coin

Nothing — criminals, graduate school, Social Media Week, Seth Godin — prepared me for what it takes to be an entrepreneur.

There are many warm, idealistic perceptions of the life of an entrepreneur. Being your own boss, running your own show, creating things that matter, following your bliss. Anyone who has groveled at a desk job is lying if they say they haven’t dreamed of what it would be like to play by a different set of rules. Fantasies of setting your own schedule and having more dimes in your pockets seem anything but illicit.

And the success stories! It’s thrilling to hear about the one who struck it rich, the single mother whose idea took off, the underdog whose product went viral, the family man who sold his company to pursue his passion. We love them. We try to find where they drink. We scour articles and books instructing us how to live passionately and make money while doing it.

Very rarely do we hear about the shitty parts of the process.

If we do, it’s after the big win (and even then, we tend to gloss over those not-so-appealing details). The long hours, the misdirection, the insecurities, the unknown, the uncertainties, the sacrifices, the pain, the anxieties, the waffling bank account. The struggle isn’t what we want to buy. We want the finished product. The clean, packaged version. We shy away from the gritty, dirty parts, and when they happen to us, we’re not sure if we’re on track.

Moments of rolling around on the floor is exactly what is needed for ideas to manifest.

It’s those moments of doubt and despair that prompt action. And it is such moments that make us human, vulnerable, approachable, relatable. Because of these unglamorous, unspoken phases, we champion the entrepreneur. We marvel at their guts, their innovation, their creativity, and their gumption. We should consider celebrating the failures, too.

No experience mimics that initial jump into the unknown and the subsequent thrashing that occurs.

I remember the way my heart would race as I entered the county jail to conduct interviews. I’ve known long work weeks, late nights, early mornings, and the loss of self to put on a good show. I’ve felt the pressure of “that one shot,” that chance of doing something really great, and the pressure of not fucking it up. And I felt the flip side of when it did go well, the postpartum that can follow. I’ve shipped and failed then shipped something else and waited to see what happens.

It’s testing. There’s no guidebook, no rules, no one tells you what to do or what needs to happen.

Nothing will properly prepare you. You don’t need a certain degree, specific experience, or a different title. The project is yours, and it’s waiting for you to give it life. There is no known. There is only doing. And today.

You may never be ready. You might try and realize it’s not for you. But you’ll never learn if you don’t at least try. You must learn through action.

So go and test. Test, and test again.