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Tag: success

Making time

Too often it feels like our schedules are packed and we don’t have time to do the things we really want to do. I want to encourage you to step back and reconsider.

What if the choices you make on a daily basis could be adjusted, and suddenly you find yourself with an extra hour? What would you do with that time?

What if — instead of pressuring yourself to get it all done — you eased off the gas and settled for eight out of ten, six out of ten? What if you gave 70% instead of 110%?

Write down the goals that are most important to you and the daily priorities you don’t want to lose. Look for places you can simplify and back off.

It’s possible to add hours in your day, but you may have to give something up.

For more help, visit zenhabits.

“You’re not married?”

“Not married! You don’t want kids?” I often receive questions regarding my relationship status. My answer, it seems, disappoints/confuses many, as if some defect on my part has rendered me less valuable or ambitious.

A little under three years ago, I came to a developing country, alone, where I have volunteered as a social worker and teacher. I established an education center, built a solar grid and fundraised to bring clothes, scholarships and learning adventures to friends in need. Before arriving in Nepal, I qualified for Boston the first time I ran the NYC Marathon. I counsel students, entrepreneurs and notable personalities. I’ve traveled to over twenty countries, finished my Master’s at Columbia University, completed an original research project and graduated with honors from CU Boulder. I have started pro-social groups for adolescent delinquents and have a baby named after me. I’ve organized events that have brought people together from different disciplines and have maintained a weekly blog since 2012. My writing has been published in journals and online. I’ve listened to stories of immigrants and middle class families struggling to pay bills. I’m working on a book. Yet the question isn’t about what I’ve done or plan to do, it’s who and when I will marry.

This is a question I receive in all parts of the world, developed and less so. My single male friends, also in their 30s, seem to evade this inquiry. Instead, they are asked other success indicators: work, house, salary, dog. Isn’t it time we see each other for who we are instead of expectations we carry?

Isn’t it time to have conversations based upon the individual, without of assumptions of race or age or gender or income? Isn’t it time we listen for what drives another’s actions to hear what fuels their beliefs, their convictions, their dreams?

If we could listen more and judge less, our world would move closer towards that tolerant, respectful place we all deserve.

“What is your greatest accomplishment?” serves a much better bridge for meaningful conversation.

5 ways to slow down (and get more done)

In primary school we learn the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Efficiency is rewarded, and the fastest children are given prizes. As we age, schedules become packed with activities, and to-do lists deepen along with wrinkles on our brow. Responsibilities increase, time is limited, and dreams once held dear are pushed to the back burner.

Juggling tasks ultimately leads to a late deadline or slipped chore or even worse, a slighted close friend or forgotten loved one. It’s a tricky scale to balance — one that requires planning, constant evaluation, dependable relationships and support.

It is possible to slow down and delegate, but you have to make a commitment to stop doing everything at once. Magic happens when you do. You’ll feel more alive, have more energy and become re-committed to your work.

1. Evaluate – Consider what must be done and identify what should claim the top spot on your priority list. It can be helpful to separate goals according to time frame: day, week, month, semi-annual, annual.

2. Make a list – Write down what needs to be accomplished today. Looming deadlines should also be noted.

3. Delegate – Handoff tasks that don’t require your personal energy or presence. Look for shortcuts that allow you to focus on what’s really important.

4. Reassess – Take a moment to review what you’ve classified as important/should/must.

5. Self-prioritize – It’s no use pleasing everyone else if your own needs aren’t met. Be sure your tank is full, if not overflowing, and address those around you after you’ve taken care of yourself.

Sacrifice

What are you willing to risk? Those at the top level are there because of sacrifice. Time, attention, family, health, luxury, recognition, security, titles, safety.

Behind every story of beauty lies pain. Success often follows repeated failure. Fortune accompanies perseverance. The stories that are picked up and publicized, the most famous wins are rarely overnight sensations.

If you’re wanting to rise, if you’ve set a goal for yourself that you’re wanting to claim, you must first ask yourself: What am I willing to give?

What will become your sacrifice?

Bonus: Here’s one director’s take on the suffering that often accompanies passion and success.

Top 10 blog posts

Before I list the Top 10 most popular posts I’ve written, I want to acknowledge something big: Project Exponential is coming up on FOUR YEARS of existence, and I can hardly believe it.

I remember that first dinner as if it happened last month. I had to talk myself into calling friends and a few famous people I didn’t know all that well and ask them to join me for something new, an experiment of sorts. I was a nervous wreck in the days leading up to that initial event, second-guessing my planned ice-breakers and seating arrangement. At the end of the night I was so worked up, I couldn’t let myself admit a grand success had just taken place.

Countless dinners later, I continue to receive emails thanking me for thoughtfully creating these kinds of dinners: invaluable introductions; new friends, new ideas; old friends, old ideas; surprising conversations; delight. It’s all come together beautifully, and I couldn’t be more grateful to those who have participated and referred clients seeking meaningful connection.

Top 10 posts:
10. I stopped trying.
9. Figure out what you want to learn and go do it.
8. Stop trying to find your purpose
7. 7 sins of crowdfunding
6. The people in your life will make or break you.
5. 10 questions to ask at a dinner party (instead of “What do you do?”)
4. What brings people together?
3. A coffee riddle
2. 5 rules of hustling
1. 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk 

Thank you for your support, your daring, your ambition, and thanks for coming along this journey with me. Becoming an entrepreneur is not easy, and there are no roadmaps for the many winding, twisting roads you find yourself on. If you have a budding entrepreneur in your life, send them a note to keep going (or share one of these blog posts); if you’re thinking about getting started yourself, GO.

While you’re dancing

You’re trying to get the project finished, but for whatever reason, your goals aren’t being met. With deadlines looming, all the outcomes you had envisioned are falling short. Nothing is working. Square pegs, round holes. Everywhere. You’re dismally unhappy.

What would happen if you eased off the gas? Put forth a little less effort?

Unmet expectations can be a signal for you to divert your energy. If you’re experiencing continual let-downs and disappointments, it’s absolutely OK to step back and regroup. Is there another project where you can invest your time?

This isn’t giving up, and you’re not a failure. You’re working effectively, conserving your energy for the places pieces fall into place and where people appreciate your efforts.

The best things happen while you’re dancing.

Happy Holidays.