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Tag: success

Trying less, not more

“Try is best” somehow evolved into “try harder.” If we don’t get the results we’ve set out for, it is a direct reflection of the work we’ve put forth. No success? You must’ve done something wrong. You didn’t reach the bar, you don’t measure up, you didn’t work HARD enough.

The irony is life seems to expand when you relax the muscles you’ve been stressing for so long. No only can constriction lead to strain and injury, it prohibits freedom and creativity and even limits the breath. There are moments and situations it’s not about your effort at all; it’s more about relaxing and letting go.

Like the “cool kid,” something about him is magnetic, we can’t help but stay away (Because we all think he isn’t trying; in reality, however, he’s trying very, very hard.).

So where is that middle balance between working like a dog and easing into it? What if the growth comes from easing off the gas, driving a little more relaxed and enjoying the road? It seems THAT is when success comes. And people can’t help but stay away.

Ten times better

A “little better” doesn’t cut it. You have to be much better. Much, much better. Ten times better.
This is how you separate yourself from the competition.
This is how you improve.
This is how you win.
Everything is crowded. The marketplace, the speaker lineup, the dating scene, the applicant pool.
In an age where your value corresponds to your ability to separate yourself from the rest, your focus must narrow on becoming your best version.
A notch doesn’t tip the scale. Throw your weight around and put full effort into your vision.
Your best self and your most original idea depend on it.
(H/T David S. Kidder. I presented Startup Playbook to college students in Nepal last week, and they loved it.)

10 essentials for the modern world

1. You have to make time for your goals otherwise they won’t happen.

2. You have to recognize where you’ve come from in order to have the endurance to keep going.

3. You have to have the right team around you to get it all done.

4. You have to strive to do work that speak for itself. Let others do the talking for you.

5. You have to know in your heart the effort you’ve put forth. Ignore the naysayers.

6. You have to prioritize your health and body, for it is the machine you will be using for years to come.

7. You have to take time to rest and be still. Your machine needs regular recharging and reprogramming.

8. You have to acknowledge who and what has encouraged you. Gratitude will keep you strong in the darkest moments.

9. You have to place yourself near nature from time to time to remind yourself of the impermanence and magnitude of all things.

10. You have to ignore the rules others set for themselves (and for you). Make your own.

I will tell you how to get what you want

If I told you there there was one thing you could do every day to get you exactly what you want, would you do it? (The body, the girl, the salary, the job, the car, the book deal, the promotion, the ring, whatever.)
I’ll tell you exactly what you need to hear; concrete steps that inch you towards your dream, but before I do, you must commit to doing one act daily. (This tells me if you really, REALLY actually want it. Or if you’re just pretending.) You must promise: one action, every day.
Would you do it?
Because somehow we’ve stepped onto the all-or-nothing bandwagon. Yes, we’ll get on board, but only if we can run a fast sprint to where we want to go. “Daily” means commitment and time, both of which sound daunting. “Can you guarantee the outcome?” you say. “OK, maybe I’ll try. But ONLY if I’m promised That Thing.” Because it’s too much work, too much effort. And the dream! It’s so far away, we can’t even see it from here. So why bother?
Now I want to ask: What if your dream isn’t really it?
What if, at the end of 90 days, you change. If, 124 days later, your perspective shifts and you realize you actually want something else. What if, at the end of 315 days, you find yourself happier? On the 402nd day, you discover a completely new you, a you with more happiness and grace and wealth and peace than you ever before imagined.
Our lives expand when we move past all or nothing. All or nothing typically results in self-sabotage; we give up, we give in, we feel guilt and disappointment and shame if we can’t go from 0 to 10. We want what we want, and we want it NOW. If we can’t get it now, very few people will invest the time and energy to get it later.
But what if small steps made us feel better? If a 10 minute daily walk brought us more peace and comfort in our bodies than bi-weekly torture sessions in the gym? If small pieces of chocolate were included into our days instead of weekly binge “cheat” days? If our dream of writing a book happened slowly, over time, instead of “When I quit my job…when I take a vacation…when I get a raise…when the kids leave the house?”
What if your dream could start today? Maybe not the grandiose final version, not the iPhone 7, but the first generation; something real and tangible and in our hands. Today.
Would you take some rather than none? Or do you want to hold onto an empty dream?

Lead with your art

I’ve been transfixed by the story of Vidal, the random kid photographed on the street and the subsequent events that have followed — over one million dollars raised, scholarships, field trips, a meeting with the President.

Vidal’s principal, who publicly admitted to feeling discouraged and ready to throw in towel before this fantastic story unfurled, asked President Obama, “When is the time you felt most broken?”

He tells the story of losing a Congress bid. His relationship with his wife was on the rocks, he was questioning himself, his work, his decisions. He was 40. He had invested time and energy and great sacrifice but didn’t feel like anything was working.

He decided to shift his focus and concentrate on the work.

“…If you can keep it about the work, you’ll always have a path. There’s always something to be done,” he answered, “…if you’re worrying about yourself — if you’re thinking: ‘Am I succeeding? Am I in the right position? Am I being appreciated?’— then you’re going to end up feeling frustrated and stuck.”

I remember when HONY first began. Brandon took photos quietly, documenting photos of strangers on the street and posting accompanying blurbs.

“There were a lot of lonely times…All I did was take photographs. I never took a day off. I worked every single holiday. I took thousands of portraits before anyone paid attention. But even though I didn’t have much to show for it, I knew that I was getting better, and I knew the photographs were special,” Brandon writes. Drip by drip, his photos became a Facebook page with thousands of loyal and inspired followers. He got a [best-selling!] book deal and a partnership with the UN.

Recommit if you must: Lead with your art, focus on the work. It will fall into place.