bloglovinBloglovin iconCombined ShapeCreated with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. rssRSS iconsoundcloudSoundCloud iconFill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch.

Tag: fear

The numbers in your bank account mean little.

If you hate your job, you cannot afford to stay one more day.
Over half of college graduates accept jobs that aren’t in their preferred industries (Bureau of Labor Statistics). People are bored, tired, and return home cranky and angry. Distraction comes in the form of stimuli — alcohol, drugs, buying things, selling things, gambling, eating, checking out in front of a screen.
You’ve invested too much in yourself — your education and training — to remain in a stifling workplace, performing tasks that are redundant. You are too valuable. Each second of your life is a precious moment you can’t get back. A bus could take you out tomorrow.
As difficult as it might seem to find a new gig, your life depends on it.
Your checkbook isn’t the only thing you should worry about. The bigger balance is your soul.

5 steps to new job opportunities

Looking for a job?
You’ve made your first mistake. As cliché as it sounds, you won’t find it if you’re looking for it. Instead, make moves to create the position of your dreams (a place you feel valued and valuable, projects you’re interested in, opportunities that benefit from your talents, people you admire).
1. Skip small talk and have real conversations.
Schedule twenty-minute informational calls (or coffees) with people you respect to learn more about their work. Ask about the good, bad, and ugly bits of their industry. Then, find parallel roles in different fields and ask those individuals how they tackle similar challenges. Meaningful conversations build meaningful relationships.
And say thank you. You never know when your paths may cross. I’ve met strangers in Shanghai I’ve introduced to entrepreneurs in California. Your rolodex is one of your most prized commodities.
2. Know thyself.
What’s your anchor? You need something grounding you, a general direction you’re heading. It doesn’t need to be entirely specific, but you need a fencepost to harness your efforts (think of a laser beam vs. diffused light; concentrated anything is stronger and more effective).
Find a quiet place to relax with a cup of coffee and honestly assess what makes you miserable, what you’re good at, what you’d like to be doing, and what you can’t live without. Reserve an afternoon — or a week — to pay close attention to moments your heart flutters. Is it anxiety, excitement, or both?
3. Are you hunting or fishing?
You can look for freelance work or you can start writing articles about topics you’re passionate about. You can ask for job openings or you can volunteer a few hours of pro-bono consulting and evaluate a company’s needs. You can ask for references or you can send role models invitations to lectures that pertain to their projects.
By placing yourself in environments that highlight your strengths, you will attract opportunities and connections that are right for you. Just because you don’t have a job doesn’t mean you can’t start cultivating something great.
4. Walk with confidence. 
Unemployment doesn’t mean you’re less of a person. When you’re feeling down and out, it shows. Pay attention to your posture and the way you walk. If you’ve completed Steps 1-3, do so confidently, with your head high.
You have skills, you have talents; flaunt them. Your childhood, your struggles, your unique lessons and experiences all contribute to what makes you uniquely valuable. Make a list of your areas of expertise and fold it into your wallet if you’re needing an extra boost. 
5. Open windows and doors and screens and welcome everyone over for tea.
If you can reframe “unemployment” as an opportunity, you’re on your way to gold. Imagine yourself as a traveler, an adventurer. There will be ups and downs, exhilaration and disappointment. Open up to all of it. It’s too easy to focus on one thing and dwell; you’ll think yourself into a frenzy, or worse yet, paralyze yourself from action. Force your anxieties to adopt a wider perspective and welcome whatever comes your way, regardless of form. If you allow it, your journey may surprise you.

Fear and two choices

Everyone has moments of panic.
If you don’t experience fear and anxiety from time to time, I’d wonder what kind of life you’re living. You’re probably not doing justice to your capabilities and talents or testing your limits. But this post isn’t about that.
I want you to pay attention to what you do AFTER those moments of panic and fear.
You have two choices:
1. Press on. 
Step on the gas and move forward (it doesn’t matter how slowly). Call it leaning in, fighting resistance, bucking up. I say you’re just going for it.
2. Ease off.
You’ve taken your foot off the pedal and/or you’ve stepped on the brake.
What do you do when you’re afraid?
Boarding my flight for Nepal, I was filled with trepidation and unease. I wish I could say I knew something amazing was waiting for me. I can’t. It wasn’t that I was afraid to travel around the world by myself; I was afraid of not knowing what the hell I was doing. There was fear and deep sense of anxiety, but I didn’t let it stop me.
I’m not unique. Many individuals have gotten on planes and found life-changing adventures — Scott, Eric, John, Tim, Hannah, Jim. Defining moments don’t have to involve travel, either. I felt this before my first dinner and my first project with Seth.
I’ve recognized panic and fear before many great learning experiences. There’s always something to lose, and your mind will come up with a million excuses why you will fail. The trick is finding a place of creative freedom and alleviating your fears just long enough to press on.
 

United by insecurity

No matter where your office is located, the ceiling can fall down. You don’t know when, but one day it will. There is even a possibility a car drives through your living room tonight while you’re sleeping.
We’ve done a great job fooling ourselves into believing we have it all figured out. We’ve worked hard to create predictable outcomes, studying to become masters of our environment. Data is plugged into spreadsheets, and dollars are spent on analyzing trends. Months are mapped out in advance. Calendars are scheduled to the minute. The year becomes a series of data points and action plans.
A soft mirage of familiarity has blanketed our world, producing a certain emotional numbness. We pick and choose what we want to feel. We pad ourselves from life with cars, TV shows, deadlines, large houses filled with things. The moment loneliness or vulnerability hits, we reach for our cell phones.
The irony is in all of this control and safety-making, we crave surprise and excitement. The tales of unpredictability are the ones we tell our friends. We sign up for marathons and Tough Mudders to feel something, to show the scrapes on our knees bearing witness of our participation. “Look at me, I’m living life!”
The moment you witness these tendencies is the moment you come alive. When you no longer cling to guarantees and you live in the challenge of each moment with nothing to hide.
This isn’t recklessness, it’s awareness. Some call it “mindful living,” the ability to observe what is happening as it happens. It’s not a need to know all of the answers but rather being in tune with the textures of your experience. It’s seeing the present for what it is, not what you wish for or as a result of what happened yesterday.
I often hear this question: “What’s next?”
I believe my flexibility in providing this answer has made my life what it is.
How wonderful it is to not know the answer.

#$*!% = QUIT

Quitting has become a dirty word, associated with failure and weakness.

Anyone who has experienced any measure of success knows that quitting is par for the course. A few dinners have opened with folks talking about their failures. Really talented, accomplished individuals getting honest about places they screwed up, projects that were complete disasters, even relationships that weren’t right.

I’m not sure quitting and failing is something that needs to be hidden. Your story could be the inspiration someone else needs.

If you want to read more on quitting (what to quit, how to quit, resources to help) check out The courage to quit on Medium.