Creating with intention
There are moments you’re sick or tired or bored.
You’re not sure whether to stick or quit. It’s unclear whether progress is being made. Patterns seem hardwired, destined to repeat. Nothing makes sense, and the future is uncertain.
You’re questioning your work, your decisions, the motives of people around you. You’re questioning yourself.
These are the defining moments. This is when you find your passion and what really matters.
The following is taken from an interview with Jahan Mantin. For the original article, click here.
In the beginning I didn’t have my story straight. I knew there was value in getting certain people into a room to share and learn from each other, but I didn’t know how to articulate it. In my mind, the story and its importance was perfectly clear. My intuition of human dynamics and relationships was always on target. But the business side was lacking. I had to thrash and experiment and test formulas to make it sustainable. It didn’t happen overnight.
I didn’t come from a business background. I had a lot to learn and made a lot of mistakes. This is part of it. You have to go through it, do the work and press on.
Overcoming anxiety
When I first started hosting dinners I was absolutely petrified. I’d give myself pep talks on the train before every event. The fact that I managed to convince these incredibly smart, brilliant, talented people to come meet each other in a secret room became a tremendous burden. I put intense pressure on myself to organize unforgettable evenings. My anxiety was through the roof. “What if no one shoes up? What if plates come crashing down off the walls? What happens if someone becomes angry and storms out? If I forget someone’s name? If someone drinks too much and stumbles down the stairs?”
Eventually I realized my fears were mostly irrational. Thankfully, I got to a place where I could recognize that these dinners are beyond me. Yes, I still get nervous, but I can manage my anxiety with the understanding that my responsibility is to provide the platform for people to come together and meet and enjoy. The rest is ultimately up to them.
The pressure of being an entrepreneur
We spend most of our young lives being told what to do. School is laid out for us, and certain milestones seem preordained — job, college, house, friends, relationship. When you start your own business, there is no set plan. There’s a sense of leaping, falling, an uncertainty of what’s to come.
For me, this levity was accompanied by obligation, a duty to see it through. It’s easy to shy away from fear like a fire, but these scary moments show us who we are. When we are petrified and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we grow.
Why do so many people become entrepreneurs when it feels like such a big risk?
At first glance, entrepreneurship doesn’t seem safe. Safety is 9 – 5, a steady paycheck and stock options. But if you think about it, freedom and creative independence can provide more security than any job. At any point you can be fired. When you create your own business/service/product, the power is in your hands.
Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. Not everyone wants to run their own show; it’s demanding and tough. But you owe it to yourself to sit down and ask, “What do I want? What do I want to contribute to the world? What brings me the most joy?”
When do you know you’re ready?
You have to be honest, ask hard questions and give yourself the time to go through the process of identifying your values and priorities, your skills and talents, what you’re really good at.
If you wait for the right moment, the right time, you’re never going to ship. You’re never going to put work out into the world. You’ll never create art (of which the most interesting and successful is far from perfect). You have to reach the point where it’s good enough, where you can feel satisfied and confident. “Done” is better than perfection.
There are always edits to be made. It can — and probably will — be improved. But your work has to make it out into the world.
This question was posed at a dinner, an exercise in framing.
Our mind is brilliant at creating new definitions, but they’re not always to our advantage — especially when it comes to self. Thoughts can easily turn negative, centering on weakness and deficient. Doubt can color even the most promising of opportunities.
Over any length of time, a constant may acquire a new meaning. For instance, that particular quirk that first drew you to a lover may become irritating and tiresome. The reason you accepted the job in the first place has now become a mundane task. Did the person change? Did the job change? Possibly, but most often our perspective has transformed.
When you can start pinpointing these adjustments in thought, you can use them to your advantage.
Try viewing a particular weakness as a strength; then play the reserve to see how a strength might pose a weakness. Such mind flexibility can spill creative power into design, production, relationships, your work.
The monks have pointed out I talk fast, walk fast, act fast, eat fast, think fast. This is in stark contrast to everything they do. American culture and competitive spirit has turned me into a shark. I’m afraid that if I stop, I might die.
I know I’m not the only one who thinks this. Every entrepreneur can wake at 2AM and think of something that needs to be done.
In Nepal, I’m learning two things:
1. Doing nothing is actually something and can be good for you.
2. Slowness is an art.
While many business situations require fast action, there’s equally valid merit from slow decisions and calculated effort.
For almost one year, I’ve volunteered my time serving a group of people I’ve grown to care for immensely. While I’ve sacrificed a lot, I’ve been granted much more in return. Some key takeaways:
1. Let excitement be your guide.
Excitement is an internal barometer letting you know you’re on track. If you’re not excited to get to work, you’re in the wrong place.
There was a time I had to coax myself out of bed in the morning. I was bored, frustrated, unchallenged, disenchanted. After I began placing myself in environments that made me feel valued and appreciated, a train engine powered my days. Clocking hours no longer mattered, and my worth became less about the money I was making and more about the contribution I was adding to the world around me.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
It’s impossible have all the answers. Pretending you do so only prevents you from building relationships and trusted communities. Questions – no matter how obvious they may seem – not only provide information but also serve as gateway to meaningful connections. Asking for help allows others the opportunity to teach you about their world and their way of doing things. If you’re afraid to ask, you can bank on missing out.
3. Give, and you’ll be taken care of.
Decisions can be made from one of two places: scarcity or abundance.
A scarcity mentality is restricted to a finite amount of resources. The underlying emotion is fear. What if there isn’t enough, what if I give and there’s nothing left for me?
Abundant thinking, however, evolves from a place of trust, faith, and confidence. There is always enough; in fact, there is more than enough. Giving becomes less of a sacrifice and more of a responsibility to do what’s right — a pleasure.
I used to think a lot about what I didn’t have. In hindsight, I prevented myself from becoming who I wanted to be. When I started to concentrate on what I do have, I gave more. I cared less about what was lacking and more about using my gifts in a way that mattered.
4. Worry less (it paralyzes you)!
Worrying serves no one. It’s a black hole, a basket collecting your best ideas and strongest intentions. Anxiety has stopped me from solidifying friendships, initiating projects, finishing goals. I’ve found myself slave to an endless chain of insecurity about my worth, capability, value, productivity, and possibility. Not beneficial. Not fun.
The irony is this: when I gave more, I was given more. Even though I haven’t received a paycheck, I’ve been taken care of — there’s a roof over my head, food to eat, people to cheer me on. I’ve received introductions to incredibly accomplished individuals and have found greater depth in my relationships.
Yes, due-diligence is required to develop plans and take action. But after you’ve put in your work, believe in yourself and the purity of your intentions. Your efforts will pay off.
Throughout my work, I’ve helped professionals connect in ways that matter. By carefully assessing the talents and skills of my clients, I consider how strangers might enter a room and leave as friends. I see value in introducing individuals to those who know how to get them closer to their goals. Maybe this person has “arrived” there already, or they know how to get there, or they know someone who can help. My hope is to help people cross that sometimes awkward edge of newness and unfamiliarity with opportunities to have relaxed, easy conversations. I call it curated networking, and no two experiences are alike.
An outsider observer has a different perspective than you. They have the ability to align you with others you might not otherwise meet, someone who can introduce you to fellow travelers, instigators who can help you move onto the next level.
You need these people in your life.