Creating with intention
Yesterday I joined a call with several dynamic professionals. The topic? Audacious goals. It made me realize that it isn’t often we verbalize our innermost dreams. Which is unfortunate.
There is something powerful about setting intention, announcing with clarity and conviction what you want and where you are going.
It’s easy and passive to let life come to you. The risky way? Making it known — and going after it.
Set one audacious goal this month. Failing is relative.
There are many warm, idealistic perceptions of the life of an entrepreneur. Being your own boss, running your own show, creating things that matter, following your bliss. Anyone who has groveled at a desk job is lying if they say they haven’t dreamed of what it would be like to play by a different set of rules. Fantasies of setting your own schedule and having more dimes in your pockets seem anything but illicit.
And the success stories! It’s thrilling to hear about the one who struck it rich, the single mother whose idea took off, the underdog whose product went viral, the family man who sold his company to pursue his passion. We love them. We try to find where they drink. We scour articles and books instructing us how to live passionately and make money while doing it.
If we do, it’s after the big win (and even then, we tend to gloss over those not-so-appealing details). The long hours, the misdirection, the insecurities, the unknown, the uncertainties, the sacrifices, the pain, the anxieties, the waffling bank account. The struggle isn’t what we want to buy. We want the finished product. The clean, packaged version. We shy away from the gritty, dirty parts, and when they happen to us, we’re not sure if we’re on track.
It’s those moments of doubt and despair that prompt action. And it is such moments that make us human, vulnerable, approachable, relatable. Because of these unglamorous, unspoken phases, we champion the entrepreneur. We marvel at their guts, their innovation, their creativity, and their gumption. We should consider celebrating the failures, too.
I remember the way my heart would race as I entered the county jail to conduct interviews. I’ve known long work weeks, late nights, early mornings, and the loss of self to put on a good show. I’ve felt the pressure of “that one shot,” that chance of doing something really great, and the pressure of not fucking it up. And I felt the flip side of when it did go well, the postpartum that can follow. I’ve shipped and failed then shipped something else and waited to see what happens.
Nothing will properly prepare you. You don’t need a certain degree, specific experience, or a different title. The project is yours, and it’s waiting for you to give it life. There is no known. There is only doing. And today.
You may never be ready. You might try and realize it’s not for you. But you’ll never learn if you don’t at least try. You must learn through action.
So go and test. Test, and test again.
Many folks believe they need a special occasion in order to organize a gathering. A birthday, a wedding, a holiday, a housewarming. What if you didn’t wait for a reason to bring people together? Tonight sounds like a perfectly great night to introduce some friends in your circle who may not know each other.
Sound stressful? Focus on creating meaning with the people in your life and let the rest work itself out.
Too often, we get caught up in the finished product before we even begin. We think about what it is going to look like, how it will be received, what people will say. We create an idea of “perfect” and scare ourselves away from starting.
Along the way, we were taught to color inside of the lines and cut straight across the dotted pattern. Imperfections and mistakes don’t add value. Uniqueness is risky, and we want to make sure our efforts are worth our time.
It doesn’t matter what it looks like when you start. In fact, intentionally screw something up. Start with the crudest iteration you can think of.
Something is better than nothing, especially when you’ve gotten in your own way.
“Everyone’s done it this way” it isn’t a good enough reason.
How can you insert a question mark into what’s come before?
Is there something you’ve followed without thinking? Is there a procedure you could better?
Can you turn good enough into best?
Buck often.
Happily-ever-afters. Great escapes. Exotic adventures. Fairytales. You’ve read them, you’ve dreamed of them, you listen enviously as your friends tell them. “They can’t be real,” you skeptically reason.
STOP.
This isn’t stuff reserved for children’s tales. It isn’t luck. You can live one, too.
But it won’t happen magically. You’ll have to do some work. Here are some tips to help you on your way:
1. Get honest.
Find a place with no distractions. Create time in your schedule to be there without needing to answer emails or rush off to meetings. If you must send yourself an invite, do it.
List things you’re really good at on a piece of paper (or a cocktail napkin). This list doesn’t necessarily need to be things you like or enjoy. You’re writing down your skills and key areas of competency — things you know you can rock out in your sleep.
Use another sheet of paper to list things that bring you joy. You don’t need to “be good” at these; you just need to love doing them. If you have a really, really, really shitty day, where do you turn to lift your spirits?
2. Dream big.
Don’t sell yourself short with this. Ask yourself: If you could do ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, what would it be?
Quiet the voice that laughs or says, “Impossible.”
Are you a professional writer living out of your Cape Cod beach home with a golden retriever and an adoring partner?
Have fun with this. And be specific.
3. Start small.
Rome wasn’t built in one day; yours won’t be either. Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. Small, tiny steps will do just fine.
Maybe it starts with a stroll through your local bookstore to see which sections excite you. Maybe it’s taking a day off work to shadow someone at a local agency or maybe you visit a museum.
Before you begin to obsess about writing business plans, finding part-time work, or quitting your job, move in manageable bursts.
4. You will get frustrated.
Read that again.
It will happen. You will want to give up. You’ll be pissed at yourself for trying; the obstacles will become insurmountable. You won’t feel like you’re making any progress. IT IS OK. Accept this, acknowledge your frustration, and move on.
Sometimes, functioning is fine.
Take yourself to a movie that inspires you. Regain your strength. The important thing is not to lose momentum.
5. Orient yourself.
As long as you’re moving, you’re golden. It’s being stuck that will raise red flags (or white). For now, it doesn’t matter the direction. Just move.
6. You need someone.
Have one person in your corner. There will be times you don’t believe in yourself. Know someone who does, someone who is OK with seeing you at your worst.
7. Self-care.
Make a list of ten things that bring you comfort. They can be small — something like listening to music or lighting a candle — or big — booking a massage or buying a plane ticket. Commit to two each day.
Let me know how it goes.