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Tag: connections

A conversation can change your life

When life gets uncomfortable, it’s easy to run. We bury our noses in our phones when we’re bored or anxious. Waiting in line at the store, riding the train to work, even walking around town. A kind word can redirect a bad day, but we’re afraid to say hello.

It’s become too easy to hide. “I’m busy!” “I’m late!” “They don’t know me.”

We’re hiding from ourselves, too, short-changing not only our own potential but that of those around us. Social gatherings have become marred by superficial exchanges. Instead of investing in heart-to-heart exchange, rooms are worked and business cards are flippantly shared. Quantity of connections have trumped quality of conversations.

Relationships can be the spark we need to make big decisions. Stop hiding.

Lessons on working for free

For almost one year, I’ve volunteered my time serving a group of people I’ve grown to care for immensely. While I’ve sacrificed a lot, I’ve been granted much more in return. Some key takeaways:

1. Let excitement be your guide.

Excitement is an internal barometer letting you know you’re on track. If you’re not excited to get to work, you’re in the wrong place.

There was a time I had to coax myself out of bed in the morning. I was bored, frustrated, unchallenged, disenchanted. After I began placing myself in environments that made me feel valued and appreciated, a train engine powered my days. Clocking hours no longer mattered, and my worth became less about the money I was making and more about the contribution I was adding to the world around me.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It’s impossible have all the answers. Pretending you do so only prevents you from building relationships and trusted communities. Questions – no matter how obvious they may seem – not only provide information but also serve as gateway to meaningful connections. Asking for help allows others the opportunity to teach you about their world and their way of doing things. If you’re afraid to ask, you can bank on missing out.

3. Give, and you’ll be taken care of.

Decisions can be made from one of two places: scarcity or abundance.

A scarcity mentality is restricted to a finite amount of resources. The underlying emotion is fear. What if there isn’t enough, what if I give and there’s nothing left for me?

Abundant thinking, however, evolves from a place of trust, faith, and confidence. There is always enough; in fact, there is more than enough. Giving becomes less of a sacrifice and more of a responsibility to do what’s right — a pleasure.

I used to think a lot about what I didn’t have. In hindsight, I prevented myself from becoming who I wanted to be. When I started to concentrate on what I do have, I gave more. I cared less about what was lacking and more about using my gifts in a way that mattered.

4. Worry less (it paralyzes you)!

Worrying serves no one. It’s a black hole, a basket collecting your best ideas and strongest intentions. Anxiety has stopped me from solidifying friendships, initiating projects, finishing goals. I’ve found myself slave to an endless chain of insecurity about my worth, capability, value, productivity, and possibility. Not beneficial. Not fun.

The irony is this: when I gave more, I was given more. Even though I haven’t received a paycheck, I’ve been taken care of — there’s a roof over my head, food to eat, people to cheer me on. I’ve received introductions to incredibly accomplished individuals and have found greater depth in my relationships.

Yes, due-diligence is required to develop plans and take action. But after you’ve put in your work, believe in yourself and the purity of your intentions. Your efforts will pay off.

Who helps you find what’s next?

Throughout my work, I’ve helped professionals connect in ways that matter. By carefully assessing the talents and skills of my clients, I consider how strangers might enter a room and leave as friends. I see value in introducing individuals to those who know how to get them closer to their goals. Maybe this person has “arrived” there already, or they know how to get there, or they know someone who can help. My hope is to help people cross that sometimes awkward edge of newness and unfamiliarity with opportunities to have relaxed, easy conversations. I call it curated networking, and no two experiences are alike.
An outsider observer has a different perspective than you. They have the ability to align you with others you might not otherwise meet, someone who can introduce you to fellow travelers, instigators who can help you move onto the next level.
You need these people in your life.

Life is meant for sharing.

In over two years, hundreds of people I respect and admire have attended my events. Many have asked how to easily find and connect with others within this community. Now it’s possible.

I’ve spent the last few months building a private online resource just for this reason. My friend Clay and I have made unique profiles detailing the skills and interests of those who have requested to share their information. It’s a curated rolodex of individuals who are kind, generous, adventurous and creative.

I can’t help but imagine what the world might be like if we all gave a little more when and wherever possible. I hope this online network encourages the Project Exponential family to do so.

 Note: If you’ve attended a dinner event and would like to be included, send me a note.

The people in your life will make or break you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re running a business or trying to finish your degree. The people you surround yourself with have the power to dramatically influence your life. Their habits, what they think about themselves, whether or not they view the world as a place of abundance or scarcity — all of these things will impact you.

When I first began as a social worker in the South Bronx, I noticed not much was different from the people I worked with on probation in Colorado. Except one major thing: community resources and social support.

If you’re trying to do something great, you need great people around you. You want people who push you to do and be your best, who encourage you to take leaps when those who should most definitely NOT be in your inner circle are telling you otherwise.

Whether you’re raising a family, designing a product, fundraising, solving a company-wide problem or quitting, your closest relationships should support you in being 110% authentically you.

Everyone deserves a dream team. Yes, there are certain factors beyond your control when it comes to success and achieving goals; however, the people you spend the majority of your time with aren’t one of them. Take special care as you find your company.