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Tag: connection

12 questions to turn small talk into real talk 

So much of getting to know someone is about asking the right questions (and really listening to the answer). If you’re feeling stumped on how to get beyond weather, kids, and menu options, use these prompts to guide you towards stuff that really matters. I’ve separated them into three categories to help you identify which questions to ask depending on situation and individual:hello

  • Passion – For individuals you admire and want to model your own life after; figure out what gets someone going, what moves them, brightens their day, fuels their dreams, inspires their work.
  • Personal – For individuals you’d like to get to know better; these questions can be effective ice breakers to better understand motivations of an acquaintance.
  • Bridge – For individuals you’d like to collaborate and partner with; these questions allow you to assess areas of overlap and uncover how you can thoughtfully connect and add value.

Passion

Uncover the sources from which individuals draw inspiration to learn more about their interests and gain added reserves of creativity, insight, and spark for yourself. See how they view the world (and think about ways you might help).

1. What inspires you?

2. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?

3. If you were given 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?

4. What’s your favorite aspect of your work?

Personal

Not everyone finds it easy to talk about their hobbies, dislikes, and passions. Concrete questions can facilitate discussion and provide insight into someone’s dreams and goals. Ensure conversation feels less like an interview and more like an exchange by offering complementary ideas when appropriate.

5. What does your perfect day look like?

6. What would “your book” be about?

7. What do you wish you would have learned in school (but didn’t)?

8. What are you afraid of?

Bridge

Identifying pain points and similar areas of interest can assist your effectiveness as a connector and impresario. Turn an introductory conversation into something worthwhile by leaving something valuable behind — a new idea, a business contact, an unavoidable question.

9. What’s the most difficult part of your work?

10. What has been the most valuable introduction you’ve received?

11. Where are you stuck?

12. How can I help?

5 steps to great team dynamics

Set up a ping pong table and buy as many board games as you like — positive rapport doesn’t happen overnight. Employees naturally travel through phases of exploration, challenge, acceptance, and performance. Recognize that all teams move through stages of development, and some individuals require more time to assert their skills and integrate into preexisting units.

1. Encourage interdepartmental collaboration.

The opportunity to work together can significantly contribute to an employee’s ability to relate to others and feel a sense of loyalty to their team. Introduce colleagues thoughtfully. Generate new ideas and unexpected outcomes by pooling together individuals who don’t typically share projects. The best solutions arise from a variety of sources and inspiration.

2. Provide leadership opportunities for all.

All employees should be given a chance to shine, regardless of role and level within the company. Create environments in which everyone’s feedback is respected and make training available to all members of the group. By shaking up responsibilities and expected performance, you’ll give employees the opportunity to appreciate their colleagues’ talents.

3. Creatively encourage relationship building.

The best connections rarely form inside of the office. Bring employees together in unique environments; schedule company outings, host dinners in your home, arrange group trips, encourage brown bag lunches at the nearby park. Promote a culture that provides opportunities for individuals to create and bond outside of daily tasks, enabling deeper feelings of satisfaction and connectedness.

4. Shared experiences unite teams.

Challenges can serve as teaching moments and unite individuals within a given project. Ushering teams through trying times will reinforce competence and trust among each team member. Alternatively, working towards a shared goal and focusing on mutual success can help keep your team’s energy positive. Celebrate triumphs together.

5. Model constructive communication.

The best way to encourage positive communication is to demonstrate and conduct the types of interactions you’d like to see. Effective communication and empathic listening doesn’t come easily for everyone. Your verbal and non-verbal cues will be imitated by staff. Be aware that your clarity and expectations regarding communication, trust, respect, and honor are an integral component of determining the communication patterns of your team.
It’s up to you to create the time and space for employees to connect meaningfully. Equip your team with what it needs to succeed: support, clear objectives, effective means of communication, strong leadership. When the right roles and responsibilities mix with a carefully selected group of individuals, great team dynamics will follow.

Find people better than you.

He always makes the deal.
She finds conveted inside information.
He lands top meetings and befriends the opposition.
Her comments catalyze progress that proceeds company-wide change.
These folks are not your competition. Their work, their composure, their grace under fire, their successes are not your threats.
In fact, these people are your greatest allies.
People better than you offer a tremendous opportunity. They are resources to help you up your game:

  • Their excellence can challenge you to learn the tools and techniques you need.
  • Their greatness can inspire you to ask difficult questions.
  • Their wins spur self-assessment.
  • Their honesty can remind you that little steps and a slow start is what is needed until answers become clear.
  • Their bravery and fearlessness can spark your own leap into the unknown.

Extraordinary individuals provide an outside window into your own work. If bridged properly, these relationships will lead you to goals you have yet to dream of.
Forget comparisons. Use the gifts of others as a personal springboard, and align yourself with those you admire as you continue to polish your own story.
Delight in the company of those who push you.

The power of weakness

In moments of confusion, doubt, insecurity and despair, we feel least like connecting. It becomes tempting to create distance, sit in the corner, and focus inward when feeling less than. We convince ourselves that failures and struggles are better left unspoken.
Yet these moments often proceed sparks of brilliance and unstoppable action.
Too often we rob ourselves of the full spectrum of human connection. An empathic word or kind touch can help us identify the right direction and move closer towards greatness. Genuine communication has the ability to convert despair into hope.
Challenge yourself to trade feelings of unworthiness for opportunities to authentically connect. Embrace moments of weakness and maximize every facet of the human experience. Hiding seldom heals.

The magic of introductions

If you’ve been the recipient of a polished introduction, you’ve probably failed to recognize its subtle magic. An introduction is a moment of alchemy; part ceremonious, part craft, part prologue. It’s quick, seemingly effortless, and gracefully leads you into an engaging discussion. In the blink of an eye, you’re feeling confident, interesting, interested, and at ease.

A savvy intro builds a bridge between two strangers and shows them a path worth exploring. Most people know how to introduce. Few people know how to turn an introduction into magic.

Improve your next introduction with these 5 easy tips:

1. Do your research.

Know who you are connecting and why. Your familiarity with both parties gives you the upper hand. Use this knowledge to help strangers find common ground.

2. Make it interesting.

Add flavor and insert facts that raise eyebrows. It’s difficult to remember names, but providing a memorable story or colorful detail creates a current for conversation to sail upon.

3. Be smart.

Most people have a gaggle of items running through their mind at any given moment. Your introduction should make it easier for two strangers to engage, not more difficult. Be explicit, direct, and clearly state the intention behind your introduction.

4. Build a platform.

Your introduction sets the tone for conversation to follow. Help those who are meeting each other for the first time enter a comfortable, balanced space. By speaking confidently, clearly, and warmly, you’ll create an environment that’s prime for establishing rapport.

5. Exit gracefully.

Sometimes an introduction is so fantastically successful, you’re doing a disservice by sticking around. Other times, two individuals might struggle to get conversation off the ground. Tune into what’s needed for genuine connection — and know when to leave.