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Tag: communication

Ask or invite

We are taught early on that when you need something, you ask. Ask for permission, ask for directions, ask for funding, ask for time off. Information is required, and in order to get an answer you must ask a question.
Invitations, however, are reserved for special occasions. To invite is to include and to welcome; an opportunity to further a relationship and encourage dialogue.
Inviting a company to join your cause or partner together builds a different dynamic than a pointed ask for resources and support. Instead of asking clients to buy your product, invite them to take part in a greater story (see Seth’s Permission Marketing and Bernadette’s Story of Telling).
The next time you need something, look for ways to create an invitation instead of a simple ask.

In defense of certificates

Certificates, medals, awards, recognition dinners. Necessary? Perhaps not. Here in Nepal, I can get a certificate for donating blood, for giving money, for simply showing up at an event.

A piece of paper is not always meaningful. I could argue that the rate in which certificates are doled out lessens their value. But public appreciation makes everyone feel good. And when people feel good, they do their best.

No, gifts and tokens aren’t essential. But praise and acknowledgement of hard work and generosity of time are absolute necessities.

Your plan should not include a miracle

This is the best piece of advice I have received: If you’re planning on a miracle, you don’t have a plan.

A large sum of money that suddenly comes into your possession. A phone call from a famous person who wants to interview you. A perfect press announcement in the nation’s most popular newspaper. A prize.

Plan on making your own miracle. You’ll be a lot more successful that way.

Write a book in eighty minutes

That’s what this group did — A group of twenty young people, hand picked from many, many applications, were given the assignment to write an ebook together. Except they were only given one hour and twenty minutes to complete it and publish it online.

This wasn’t simply a writing exercise. This was a teaching moment, an experience in vulnerability, connection, community, and risk taking. A practice in connecting ideas and people in a meaningful way. These students learned to alternate between stepping back and seeing the whole picture, then leaning in and dissecting the work before stepping back and reviewing the vision all over again.

They learned that fear is a powerful roadblock, but one that can be picked up and moved. Anytime. Anywhere. They practiced listening. They saw first hand that when you ask the right questions and stop to listen, the world unfolds before you. And they learned to step into the unique role that only you can create for yourself.

You have far more control over your destiny than you could ever possibly imagine.

How to write email introductions

Few things are as ineffective and frustrating as poorly written emails. Little information, no apparent connections, and enthusiastic instructions to “meet for coffee” can quickly end up in the trash bin.
People are busy.
Of course it is not always possible to be in the same room at the same time, so being able to make email introductions is an essential and valuable business skill. Yes, it is possible to write in a way that introduces two strangers and adds value to everyone copied on the chain.
Tips to keep in mind:

  1. Ask for permission first. Before sending out any emails with contact information, check in with all parties to make sure you’re using preferred addresses and contact numbers. Give notification that you are planning to make an introduction and make sure this is a good time for both parties to form a new acquaintance. Timing is everything when starting new relationships.
  2. While composing your email, explicitly state the reason why you are making the introduction. Explain the value you see for both parties.
  3. Briefly describe how you became aware of each individual. You don’t need to write long origin stories, but there is a difference between having worked with a project manager over the course of her career and having just met someone while standing in line for a sandwich.
  4. Don’t make either reader search for information. Clearly state the name and association of each party. Add relevant links so that each person can do additional research if and when time allows.
  5. Suggest intersecting areas of interest so that the individuals can meet with common overlap in mind.
  6. Lead with giving. You’re making the connection out of generosity, not a place of want. Never make an introduction expecting anything in return.

Have other tips for email introductions? Tweet me @redheadlefthand.

You can say “No.”

And when you do, you open up space in your life for more: More of what you want. More of what gets you closer to your goals. More of what serves you.

“No” is necessary.

Saying “No” forces to you to confront the parts of you that crave acceptance. The pieces that yearn to be liked and to please.

Your “No” might start an argument. You may disappoint someone close to you. But every time you say “Yes,” “Okay” or “Sure” when you really mean “No,” your heart shrivels.

Declining invitations and turning down offers doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. Your “No” doesn’t need to be swaddled in guilt. When you learn to say “No,” you show the people around you that you value your time. That you have priorities. That you care about things that matter and place emphasis on doing on your best work. That when you show up, you show up 110% and commit fully to the task at hand.

Practice saying “No” once this week.