bloglovinBloglovin iconCombined ShapeCreated with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. rssRSS iconsoundcloudSoundCloud iconFill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch. Fill 1Created with Sketch.

Are you developing a marketing strategy or being real?

I wrote my first post on Medium this week. Before clicking “Publish,” I was surprisingly nervous. I think because this writing is very personal, an experience that is dear to my heart and involves people I love. I almost didn’t post it.

I had no idea it would impact and resonate with so many people. I’m talking just under 10k views in less than one week.

We spend so much time trying to come up with the right strategy, the right product, company, tagline or press relationship in order to reach many people. Maybe instead we should focus on being real…and simply living.

The last few months of my life have shown me that if you follow your heart and live authentically in the world, you’ll end up right where you need to be.

A New Year is a great time to start.

10 questions to ask at a dinner party (instead of “What do you do?”)

You’ve invited twelve of your closest friends over to your place for dinner — except no one knows anyone else, and they’re all from different parts of your life: work, parenting group, school, bowling club, gym class.

You’ve hired a chef and set the table. Now…how do you get people to talk?

“What do you do?” is an easy question. Overused, expected.

Here are 10 other questions you can ask, straight off the tables of Project Exponential dinners:

  1. Grand Central Station has room for a new restaurant in the basement. What should we recommend?
  2. The Embassy has asked us to suggest a week-long itinerary for a group of influential foreigners who want to visit America. No one speaks the same language. Where should we take them? What should we do?
  3. We’ve been commissioned to orchestrate vending machines that will be placed in high-traffic tourist areas like Times Square, Las Vegas, San Francisco and Sea World. What’s inside?
  4. The U.S. Department of Education wants us to design a course that will become part of all high school curricula. What do we teach?
  5. How do you encourage risk-taking and entrepreneurial thinking among a team that is afraid to break the rules?
  6. We’ve been given access to a 3D printer and can print ONE THING to be distributed worldwide. What is the thing?
  7. If we were to write one book that everyone here [at your dinner party] could contribute to, what would it be?
  8. The mayor wants us to develop a ride-sharing program that encourages interaction among residents and visitors. Ideas?
  9. Apple wants us to throw their next company party. Is there a theme? Who do we invite?
  10. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?

If you’d like, you can write questions on cards and pass them around the table. If you’re feeling really ambitious, separate your guests into teams beforehand and group individuals with complementary skills. Let me know what happens.

Traits of true leaders

From small projects to antiquated institutions, organized groups benefit greatly from strong, reliable leadership. Yet despite the undeniable need for talented management, the skills and traits of effective leaders aren’t necessarily easy to find.
I’ve watched organizations as varied as religious institutions (think monasteries and churches), start-ups, small companies, government entities, and educational programs struggle beneath the weight of inept leadership. Whether you’re starting a business, building a corporation, or strengthening your family, look for ways to foster the following traits within your team:
Leadership Trait #1: Observation
True leaders aren’t necessarily the loudest in the room, but their actions speak volumes. They are constantly observing and gathering information from their immediate environments, looking for parallels and connections with “the bigger picture.” They consult a variety of sources to collect data and remain in contact with each level of their tribe.
Leadership Trait #2: Humility
True leaders recognize the talents of those around them. Instead of feeling jealousy or insecurity, they look for ways to encourage, delegate, and provide opportunities for the growth and development of their affiliates. Prudent leaders find — and create — ways to make their contingents better.
Leadership Trait #3: Foresight
You may walk by an empty store and wonder why it closed. A leader sees the vacant lot and envisions what might be. Leaders aren’t restricted by thinking only of what is best for today; they consider the long run and what might happen ten years from now.
Leadership Trait #4: Empowerment
Leaders foster a sense of ownership and commitment from their team through trust, responsibility, and reward. By handing off significant tasks — duties in which failure has actual consequence — leaders demonstrate trust in their squad. And with the gift of responsibility comes loyalty and dedication in return. Rewarding a job “well done” establishes feedback loops that promote respect and build work ethic within teams.

Write a research paper: a lesson in empathy

During the past week, I’ve taught my most advanced students how to write a research paper (for more about my time in Nepal, visit here and here). The sixteen- and seventeen-year-old monks have never heard the term research before, and words such as “references,” “introduction,” “outline,” and “conclusion” are new additions to their vocabulary.

When I first explained their assignment, their charming smiles hid their bewilderment. As I despondently watched one student copy paragraphs directly from his grade-school English book, I realized my lesson wasn’t well received. I was quickly reminded of the importance of empathic communication.

In attempting to describe the purpose of writing and the value of communicating opinion, I’ve had to consider what already exists in their world. What might help them understand the (already challenging!) writing process? I’ve drummed up analogies such as making sandwiches (“Your introduction and conclusion is like bread. You need meat in the middle for a tasty sandwich!”) and playing soccer (“The introduction is the kick-off, when the whistle blows. Your conclusion is putting the ball in the back of the net. Goal!”). I’ve asked my wide-eyed students, “What do you want someone to remember after they’ve read your writing?”

The process has reminded me of flexible thinking, the ability to consider another’s world view, and the universal demand for effective communication.

The next time you find yourself frustrated and struggling to get your point across, pause for a moment to see if there is another way to convey your message.

The medium is only half of the art. The interpretation is the rest.

Get to know someone today

Pick up the phone and ask someone to meet you for lunch. Invite someone you’d like to learn from, someone you could get to know a little better.

Choose four questions to bring along with you:

  • What advice would you have given yourself five years ago?
  • Favorite aspect of your work?
  • Most challenging part of your job?
  • You can pick one person to have coffee with. Who would it be?
  • Where do you go for inspiration?
  • What do you do to recharge?
  • Last meaningful book you read?
  • If you had an extra hour each day, how would you spend it?
  • If you were gifted one million dollars, what would you do?

Tomorrow, send a thank you email with two things you learned.

The art of community

Community doesn’t just happen. It takes time and effort and care.
Amidst routine and packed schedules, relationships deserve a sacred setting. You can’t deny the electricity that encompasses a group breaking bread. It’s an act that has held magic and mystery for centuries.
Whether the dining table, the running track, the book club, or the coffee group, find your place for sharing and storytelling. The more authentic you can be, the more comfortable your cohort will feel.
Build a bedrock for meaningful conversation and lasting relationships, a canvas for discussion and deliberation. Look to encourage that spark, that contagious flame that sets ideas ablaze. Serendipity sometimes needs a little push.
Turn connection into art.