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Category: Questions

Who are you looking for?

There are lots of people in this world, and most of us want to connect.

We visit bars, churches, gyms, groups, conferences, events, concerts, and parties hoping to meet someone who might send our world into a tailspin and infuse our life with new meaning.

We look for ways to deepen our existing relationships and simultaneously want to expand our network, expose ourselves to new options, and find different ways of doing things. We want to become better.

As business professionals, we attend seminars hoping to interact with someone who can offer insight into our work and challenge our beliefs. We sign up for groups, add ourselves to lists, fill our calendars with coffee dates, and comb our friends’ friends for people who might add value to our world.

With so many people looking, why are so many failing?

I recently spoke to a very charming, engaging entrepreneur who attended an expertly planned conference. Top players in international policy dappled the schedule, and high-profile keynotes lectured every hour. From the get-go, testimonials gushed all of the wonderfulness of the event, and sign-up sheets offered prime opportunities for attendees to market their businesses. Yet a very eager impresario walked away feeling like something was missing. Despite an impeccable schedule, he didn’t feel he had the opportunity to connect with others.

Information gleaned from speakers is surely helpful, inspiring, informative, but what’s the most valuable aspect of an event? Relationships. Think about the expertise in the room, just waiting to be accessed.

Yes, it can be difficult to strum up conversations in professional environments. It isn’t easy to approach strangers and put yourself on the line. It’s hard to be vulnerable.

How often do you step outside of your comfort zone?

What if you found yourself in a situation in which you didn’t know what to expect? You’re not sure who is going to be there, what you’re getting yourself into. Would the connections be different?

What if the only thing you knew is that you wanted to take something meaningful from the experience?

What if you approached your life that way?

How do you see risk?

Everyone experiences risk. No one is immune to the anxiety that comes with it.
The difference between the daring and the successful is that they’ve learned to cope with it.
Questions to ask:
How can I minimize my anxieties surrounding this?
Can I make myself feel better about this decision?
The more you dive, the more you’ll enter the water in a way that doesn’t hurt, and the board won’t seem quite as high…
Jump.

Predict your own trend.

We’re bombarded. With people, connections, business cards. Social media has connected us in ways we’ve never experienced before.
But is it more meaningful? Valuable?
Consider how it has changed your own relationships and experiences.
Now that so much of our lives are recorded and documented online, how necessary is it to cultivate experiences sans media and technology?
How do you cut through all of the noise to find what’s most valuable to you… as a consumer, individual, professional?
Do you take advantage of the interplay of industries, reaching out to connect with others who might contribute to better work and better ideas?

What are you listening to?

What record is playing in your head?

Have you written your own soundtrack? Or has someone compiled it for you?

The songs/tones/words you surround yourself with sets the tone for your life. If you’re not happy with what you’ve been hearing, make a new recording. Leave the prerecorded songs for someone else (unless they’re really THAT good).

Do you want to win?

Every day I speak with individuals who tell me they want to succeed in a big way. While “success” can mean something different to each person, most people are looking to surpass the point they’ve arrived to date — a refreshed, higher, faster, better, cleaner, sharper, more focused state of being. Which seems pretty intuitive. People with ambition and drive want to move forward. Occupying the same space without any change one year from now can sound frightening, if not repulsive, to those with momentum and growth on the mind.

Yet, too often, these same individuals are taking specific actions in their lives to demonstrate otherwise, indirectly sabotaging their path towards greatness.

Find a mentor, a group, an outsider who will level with you and call your bluff. Put yourself in the position to listen openly and honestly, so that this time next year, you’ll have moved in the direction and at the speed you intended.

What’s the dress code?

A commonly asked question, no matter what kind of event. The answer is usually simple:

Dress how you’d want to represent yourself.

By asking, “What is everyone else going to wear? What is acceptable?” think of the position you’re placing yourself in. Are you wanting to see if you’re most comfortable shoes, the ones that have taken you across continents and through cities, would be appropriate? Did you want to sport your oldest, most worn (most comfortable!) jeans to a meet a group of strangers? Were you really considering renting a tuxedo or digging that gown out of the closet?

Are you worried you’ll stand out? Or are you hoping to sneak by? Are you afraid of looking “too nice” and separating yourself from the crowd in that way?

As much as our teen selves and our inner rebels hate to admit, what we wear and the way we wear it communicates bits of our personality and what we stand for. Our clothes and our appearance is the easiest way a stranger can assesses us, and it is often the first thing we’re judged by when we first make contact.

Recently, I attended an event where I watched a couple who went “all out” — yes, complete with costumes — easily start conversations and move with ease around the room. Their dress served as a flag, signaling to other guests that they were ready to meet and mingle and share ideas. It worked.

So really, does it matter what the dress code is? Instead, think about:

How do I want to represent myself in this situation?

What would make me feel most confident when I enter? When I’m introduced?

Do I want to fit in?

Or do I want to stand out?