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Category: Questions

What are you collecting?

Collectors usually get some sort of attention. Whether it’s stamps, debt, records, insects, comics, paintings, or coins — collectors have something to show, something to talk about.

What if you viewed yourself as a collector, adding more and more unique moments to your personal high-value collection?

You’re the owner. How will you build upon your existing collection? What kind of assets will you preserve and who will be privileged enough hear about it (or see it)?

The more experiences you obtain, the more interesting you become. With interesting stories, there’s no doubt you’ll attract an audience.

That goes for brands and people, too.

Write your own fairytale or have a really grand adventure

Happily-ever-afters. Great escapes. Exotic adventures. Fairytales. You’ve read them, you’ve dreamed of them, you listen enviously as your friends tell them. “They can’t be real,” you skeptically reason.

STOP.

This isn’t stuff reserved for children’s tales. It isn’t luck. You can live one, too.

But it won’t happen magically. You’ll have to do some work. Here are some tips to help you on your way:

1. Get honest. 

Find a place with no distractions. Create time in your schedule to be there without needing to answer emails or rush off to meetings. If you must send yourself an invite, do it.

List things you’re really good at on a piece of paper (or a cocktail napkin). This list doesn’t necessarily need to be things you like or enjoy. You’re writing down your skills and key areas of competency — things you know you can rock out in your sleep.

Use another sheet of paper to list things that bring you joy. You don’t need to “be good” at these; you just need to love doing them. If you have a really, really, really shitty day, where do you turn to lift your spirits?

 2. Dream big. 

Don’t sell yourself short with this. Ask yourself: If you could do ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, what would it be?

Quiet the voice that laughs or says, “Impossible.”

Are you a professional writer living out of your Cape Cod beach home with a golden retriever and an adoring partner?

Have fun with this. And be specific.

 3. Start small. 

Rome wasn’t built in one day; yours won’t be either. Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. Small, tiny steps will do just fine.

Maybe it starts with a stroll through your local bookstore to see which sections excite you. Maybe it’s taking a day off work to shadow someone at a local agency or maybe you visit a museum.

Before you begin to obsess about writing business plans, finding part-time work, or quitting your job, move in manageable bursts.

 4. You will get frustrated. 

Read that again.

It will happen. You will want to give up. You’ll be pissed at yourself for trying; the obstacles will become insurmountable. You won’t feel like you’re making any progress. IT IS OK. Accept this, acknowledge your frustration, and move on.

Sometimes, functioning is fine.

Take yourself to a movie that inspires you. Regain your strength. The important thing is not to lose momentum.

 5. Orient yourself. 

As long as you’re moving, you’re golden. It’s being stuck that will raise red flags (or white). For now, it doesn’t matter the direction. Just move.

6. You need someone. 

Have one person in your corner. There will be times you don’t believe in yourself. Know someone who does, someone who is OK with seeing you at your worst.

 7. Self-care. 

Make a list of ten things that bring you comfort. They can be small — something like listening to music or lighting a candle — or big — booking a massage or buying a plane ticket. Commit to two each day.

Let me know how it goes.

What brings people together?

The x-factor, hormones, shared experiences, common struggles, learned skills, common hobbies, unique endeavors, a certain look…

Both online and off, what is that magnetic pull that creates curiosity from one person to another? What’s that secret sauce that drives some people to test limits, push boundaries, and draw their own road maps to living?

Think of personal trainers. There are trainers, the ones that tell you what to do and what exercise is next, maybe will even count the number of times you perform an exercise. But then there are trainers, the types of people you want to pay just to be around them. Trainers who keep you returning, when, after the initial lure of physical fitness has ended, you want to continue to grow and learn and be in their company. Something inside of you wants to make them proud.

There’s the shop owner. His store is an extra walk or a longer drive, but because of his smile, the way he completes your transaction, the way he waves at you when you leave, you take extra time out of your day to visit him. You want to support his business. You want to watch him succeed.

A contagious laugh. A beaming smile. Inspiring stories that have no end. Challenges that have been overcome.

What defines the type of person you like to be around?

In a world in which our lives grow increasingly intertwined, the time and space for us to cultivate meaningful personal relationships has become encroached upon. Superficial connections are quickly, easily made, so authentic relationships — ones that are valuable and mutually shared — have become scare.

How can we find and establish them if we’re chained to the immediate fix? Email alerts, the need to be in the know, the reward centers of our brains that light up by positive feedback, sudden jolts of praise that mask our insecurities.

Yet these insecurities, the precise vulnerabilities that make us human, make us appealing to others, we mask. Whether it’s fear or loneliness or the need for protection, we create boundaries to hide them. And we do it well. These boundaries manifest online, affect our daily interactions, and prohibit us from taking that extra step, form new connections, generate new ideas.

Do you create incubators within your life for connection? Do you seek out people who are successful? Or do you passively wait for them to come to you?