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Tag: networking

Can questions foster closeness?

I believe they do.

This is why all of Project Exponential’s signature dinners use questions to bring attendees together.

It’s scary to reveal parts of ourselves to others, but in order to nuture relationships and develop closeness in both personal and professional networks, we must establish rapport, build trust and pave the way for future communication.

The questions listed in a recent NY Times article parallel some of the questions our attendees face at monthly dinners. The article groups queries in levels of vulnerability, with the first set serving up light appetizers (“When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?”) and leading up to the heavy fourth course (“If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?”).

Print out the list and ask your partner questions over tonight’s dinner. Let me know how it goes.

Top 10 blog posts

Before I list the Top 10 most popular posts I’ve written, I want to acknowledge something big: Project Exponential is coming up on FOUR YEARS of existence, and I can hardly believe it.

I remember that first dinner as if it happened last month. I had to talk myself into calling friends and a few famous people I didn’t know all that well and ask them to join me for something new, an experiment of sorts. I was a nervous wreck in the days leading up to that initial event, second-guessing my planned ice-breakers and seating arrangement. At the end of the night I was so worked up, I couldn’t let myself admit a grand success had just taken place.

Countless dinners later, I continue to receive emails thanking me for thoughtfully creating these kinds of dinners: invaluable introductions; new friends, new ideas; old friends, old ideas; surprising conversations; delight. It’s all come together beautifully, and I couldn’t be more grateful to those who have participated and referred clients seeking meaningful connection.

Top 10 posts:
10. I stopped trying.
9. Figure out what you want to learn and go do it.
8. Stop trying to find your purpose
7. 7 sins of crowdfunding
6. The people in your life will make or break you.
5. 10 questions to ask at a dinner party (instead of “What do you do?”)
4. What brings people together?
3. A coffee riddle
2. 5 rules of hustling
1. 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk 

Thank you for your support, your daring, your ambition, and thanks for coming along this journey with me. Becoming an entrepreneur is not easy, and there are no roadmaps for the many winding, twisting roads you find yourself on. If you have a budding entrepreneur in your life, send them a note to keep going (or share one of these blog posts); if you’re thinking about getting started yourself, GO.

12 questions to get past small talk and find out what really matters at networking events

Gone are the days where weather, food and family are the only acceptable topics of discussion at networking events. People yearn for connection and crave something that makes them feel alive.

The people who attract strangers at a party lure with conversations of quality, not quantity. These individuals are passionate, focused and giving, and speaking to them can challenge and inspire you to become your best self.

(You, too, can become one of these people!)

Consider the following questions for your next social engagement:

1. What inspires you?
2. What one problem do you presently wish you could solve?
3. If you were given 1 million dollars, what would you do with it?
4. What’s your favorite aspect of your work?
5. What does your perfect day look like?
6. What would “your book” be about?
7. What do you wish you would have learned in school (but didn’t)?
8. What are you afraid of?
9. What’s the most difficult part of your work?
10. What has been the most valuable introduction you’ve received?
11. Where are you stuck?
12. How can I help?

Click here to read 12 questions to turn small talk into real talk, originally posted on May 7, 2013.

The responsibility to connect

We have tools at our fingertips to connect and unite. Different levels of support, layers of talent, examples to reference. With access comes choice.
What if “connecting” was an obligation? Would you make that call? Send that email? Reprioritize your schedule?
Your introduction could match a promising worker with an employer in need, build a bridge for a new partnership, make someone’s work a little easier.
Often, it isn’t a lack of opportunity or awareness but of willingness.

New York City restaurants

I receive many emails asking for restaurant recommendations. Client dinners, hidden gatherings, networking events and fun nights out — here’s a list of some of my NYC favorites, in no particular order:

Cafe Select – Their secret back room is home to one of Project Exponential’s very first dinner parties.

Beauty & Essex – Hidden behind a pawn shop. Go here for an experience.

East Village Robotaya – Food + Environment + Entertainment. Sit at the bar.

Bacaro – Downstairs candlelit dining rooms are perfect for groups. Tell Kama Michelle sent you.

The Fat Radish – Tucked into the Lower East Side. Make reservations in advance.

PDT (Please Don’t Tell) – Look for the phone booth to enter.

Smith & Mills – This one can be tricky to find. The round, red “71” light is your indicator. 

Hudson Clearwater – Private wine room is great for meetings and events.

Buttermilk Channel – American comfort food in Brooklyn. Brunch extremely popular.

Catch – Meatpacking District’s seafood spectacle.

Eleven Madison Park – Unique. Experience. If not, very close to art.

Ippudo – The place to go for Ramen. Make reservations. 

Death + Company – Cocktails.

A conversation can change your life

When life gets uncomfortable, it’s easy to run. We bury our noses in our phones when we’re bored or anxious. Waiting in line at the store, riding the train to work, even walking around town. A kind word can redirect a bad day, but we’re afraid to say hello.

It’s become too easy to hide. “I’m busy!” “I’m late!” “They don’t know me.”

We’re hiding from ourselves, too, short-changing not only our own potential but that of those around us. Social gatherings have become marred by superficial exchanges. Instead of investing in heart-to-heart exchange, rooms are worked and business cards are flippantly shared. Quantity of connections have trumped quality of conversations.

Relationships can be the spark we need to make big decisions. Stop hiding.