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Tag: intention

36 lessons from NYC

In no particular order:

  1. You can walk as fast as you want, but you won’t get anywhere without considering those around you.
  2. On your worst days, something (or someone) will surprise you and show you kindness in ways you’d never expect.
  3. On your best days, something (or someone) will knock you down, humble you, and disappoint you in ways you’d never expect.
  4. There’s always someone better than you.
  5. There’s always someone with less than you.
  6. Find something to be grateful for every day.
  7. A smile can disarm anyone.
  8. You’ll only be happy if you’re true to yourself.
  9. You are defined by the company you keep.
  10. You have the ability to reinvent yourself. Every day.
  11. Most of the limits you see are created in your own mind. Sprint past them when possible and refuse to get in your own way.
  12. Relationships take work.
  13. There is someone for everyone.
  14. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Look for this beauty in everyone you meet.
  15. Set aside time to nurture those who are important to you.
  16. Communities are essential. No matter your interests, there is one for you.
  17. Learn how to set boundaries and take care of yourself.
  18. Prioritize.
  19. You can view each day as a battlefield or a marvelous adventure. Your choice.
  20. There is always more money to be earned. Learn to be content with what you have.
  21. You probably have more than you need.
  22. You will be tested. Eventually, you will realize you are capable of much more than you think.
  23. Grocery stores don’t need to accommodate small cars. People get along just fine with handbaskets.
  24. It doesn’t matter what it looks like or how many square feet, home is where the heart is.
  25. Movie stars are people, too.
  26. You can put your body through some really grueling activities. It’s capable of amazing things. Be kind to it. You only get one.
  27. Get a bike. And get a damn good lock. If you don’t have a good lock, carry your front tire with you.
  28. It doesn’t matter how cute your shoes are, they better be comfortable and durable.
  29. The outdoors are closer than you think. Don’t neglect blue skies and trees.
  30. There is no reason to eat shitty food.
  31. Challenge yourself to find something new and try something new regularly.
  32. Refuse to settle.
  33. There are plenty of jobs. If you don’t like the one you have, life is too short to waste another day.
  34. Be open — to possibilities, different opinions, new ideas, different beliefs, new opportunities. If you are willing, your world will explode with options. Your choice.
  35. Everyone is creative. Express it in your own way.
  36. You really can create the life you want.

Empathy 101

Create one mandated course for high school students nationwide. What does it include?

At a recent dinner, this was one of the prompts for group discussion. Without hesitation, my mind sounded one clear word.

Empathy.

  • The ability to reference another’s perspective, considering their experiences and worldview, in order to better understand behavior and intention.
  • “Putting yourself in their shoes.”
  • The capacity to recognize another’s emotions and experiences, closing the gap between self and other.
  • Identifying a [valuable] perspective different than your own
  • Requires: self awareness, confidence, openness (personal traits)
  • Requires: listening, open communication, careful observation (communication skills)
  • NOT sympathy
  • NOT pity
  • Often a precursor to compassion
  • Integral for collaborations, understanding, effective and worthwhile discussions, conflict resolution

Ask me to summarize my clinical training into one concept and this would be it.

Harry Prosen defines empathy as “an emotional understanding which allows one as a therapist to resonate with one’s patients in depth emotionally, so that it influences the therapeutic approach and alliance with the patient.”

Yet empathy belongs in more places than clinical environments. We need it in our schools, our personal lives, our government, our businesses. We need to practice it on a daily basis and teach our children to do the same. We must find ways to listen, to converse, and to respond in ways that are considerate and cognizant of the person sitting across the table.

We get into trouble when we are unable to see us in them. This is when valuable information is lost and we lose the opportunity to connect in a new way. Empathy reminds us of our collective humanity.

If you’ve noticed, the best businesses are conducted in an empathic way. The best connections are formed when two parties consider the other’s frame of reference. When empathy is involved, relationships flourish, conversations become meaningful, and solutions address the heart of the real problem.

It’s never too late to learn, and you don’t need a special appointment or degree to practice awareness. Can you bring empathy into your interactions today?

“Empathic connection is an understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person, the divine energy in the other person, the life that’s alive in them.” —Marshall Rosenberg

 

audacious goals

Yesterday I joined a call with several dynamic professionals. The topic? Audacious goals. It made me realize that it isn’t often we verbalize our innermost dreams. Which is unfortunate.

There is something powerful about setting intention, announcing with clarity and conviction what you want and where you are going.

It’s easy and passive to let life come to you. The risky way? Making it known — and going after it.

Set one audacious goal this month. Failing is relative.

The company and the cook

There’s a lot you can control in this world. There’s a lot you can’t.
Focus on what you can, and the rest will take care of itself.

“The success of the dinner depends as much upon the company as the cook. Discordant elements – people invited alphabetically, or to pay off debts – are fatal.”

–Ward McAllister

Gratitude

Very few people are exactly where they want to be. Everyone’s searching, striving for something.

More money, a better job, important responsibilities, a patient spouse, a new car, meaning, freedom, flexibility. Reasons differ, but the drive is the same. The quest for movement, for change, for different.

Knowing this, allow yourself one day to be grateful for exactly where you are. In this very moment, you are right where you need to be. You have everything you need. Delight in that. Recognize where you’ve come from and send gratitude to those who have helped get you there.

Tomorrow’s another day.

Someone is watching

Somebody is always watching. You might not think it, but your actions are noticed.

The things you do and the way you speak influence others.

Others influence you just as easily.

Who do you watch?