Creating with intention
You’ll hear all sorts of objections. You get to decide if you’re going to listen.
Develop responses you can quickly and easily remember. You’ll need rebuttals you can use for yourself and for the world.
1. You really, really want something.
Big Goal: I want to … travel around the world, be the company’s top earner, find a fulfilling relationship, double my savings account, change careers.
2. You want to change your behavior.
Big Goal: I am going to … lose weight, eat mindfully, stop smoking, be independent, make confident decisions, become more organized.
Big Goals sound daunting because they’re not easy (if it sounds easy, it probably isn’t a Big Goal). These kinds of goals often entail major life changes — career, relationship, health — and require concentrated focus and energy.
Lately, many of my meetings have involved some sort of goal setting tirade: how to set goals, frustration with achieving them, fear of failing, uncertainty. Since my days working as a probation officer, I’ve encouraged people to set Big Goals, ones that are both lofty and achievable. The trick to success?
This may sound counterintuitive, but it works.
After you’ve identified and set your Big Goal(s), you must plan smaller, manageable subgoals that point you in the direction of your identified finish line.
Big Goal: I am going to get fit.
subgoal: I am going to start a food diary.
subgoal: I will pack lunch twice this week.
subgoal: I am going to explore different forms of exercise and find what I enjoy.
subgoal: I am going to schedule workouts into my calendar.
etc.
It’s not enough to write your dream on a board and walk away. Your chances of accomplishing Big Goals proportionally increase with the planning and thought you put into your game plan. Subgoals are essential if you’re looking to knock it out of the park.
Set periodic check-in reminders to help you assess whether you are on track. Think of it as a training plan: no marathoner wills himself past the finish line. Successful race days are the result of many mini-runs, planned efforts set with an end result in mind. There’s a reason step-by-step guides work. They take complex processes and break them down into approachable actions.
Big Goal: I am going to get fit.
today: I am going to start a food diary.
this week: I will pack a lunch twice this week.
by next week: I am going to explore different forms of exercise and find one that I enjoy.
this month: I am going to schedule workouts.
etc.
Set Big Goals. Don’t cut yourself slack.
Just increase your betting odds by making a plan to get there.
They work best if you’re honest:
Unapologetically know your worth.
Reinvent yourself often.
No situation is worth your health or happiness.
If your passion is dying, change something.
Your heart doesn’t lie.
Relationships take work, effort, and commitment.
Both sides need to be equally invested for it to work.
You can’t prepare for the unexpected. Just know it can happen.
Don’t be afraid to scream YES! when opportunity comes knocking.
Hiding excitement doesn’t benefit anyone.
No one will set boundaries for you.
No one knows what you’re truly capable of.
You are so much greater than you think.
Life is more fun when you’re authentic.
There’s no better way to learn about yourself and the world than through adventure.
Everyone loves a good surprise.
It’s up to you to communicate and demonstrate your passion.
Ship. Ship often.
Go.
A friend once posed this simple question. It’s since become etched in my mind:
“If you could do anything, anywhere, what would it be?”
Most of us don’t allow ourselves to answer this, much less answer in a brutally honest way. We’re too busy, too invested in our careers, too preoccupied with our families, too set in our ways to give ourselves the space and time to consider.
It’s scary to go there. There’s fear of failing, of being the fool, of risking and losing, of making the wrong choice. And then! What would it look like to actually succeed?
We make decisions after rigorous cost-benefit analyses. We talk to our friends, we pay for therapists, we torture ourselves with choices. We wonder which path is the “right one,” the one that will bring us happiness and success and pay for all of our bills and more.
But really, it comes down to this:
1. Does it excite you?
2. Do you believe in the cause?
3. Can you make an impact?
Find people who inspire you to jump, dig deep, and stretch towards the life you’ve always wanted. Create time in your life to view your life from new perspectives. Give yourself permission to dream.
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
-George Bernard Shaw
I’m often asked how I made the transition from social work to social curation. If I’m honest, I never dreamed of having my own business or running my own show. In fact, for a very long time, I was looking for the perfect job, desperately trying to figure out how to craft the perfect cover letter to land the interview that would set me on a fulfilling and profitable career path.
I wish I could say I woke up one morning and realized this dream job was something I could actually create.
It started slowly, with an idea, and — drip by drip! — grew from experimentation to action.
You, too, can start small. You don’t need to have a finished product on the table before you decide to go. Simply identify what’s important to you, acknowledge your skills, and begin to make choices that excite you.
You don’t have to figure it all out today.
The things that really mean something take time.