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Tag: courage

When DENIED doesn’t matter

Recently, I’ve been receiving a lot of “No’s.” The proposals and emails I’m sending are falling flat, and my inbox is filled with rejections and denials.

Denial

I could let these responses discourage me, but I’m not. I’m using them as fuel. Like my friend Jodi says, “Care enough to push past the ‘No’.”

Rejection doesn’t have to mean failure; it can be a wonderful teacher. Jodi once set out to be rejected by 100 people in one week. Instead of feeling disheartened by negative responses, she only felt confident and more certain. She also raised money for five scholarships in the process.

Care enough to keep going, even if other people doubt your abilities or ideas.

6 tips to become a better public speaker

Public speaking isn’t something to fear. With practice, presentations can connect you more deeply to your clients and your work and can even teach you new lessons about yourself. Use these tips to ace your next event, whether you’re toasting at a dinner party or pitching to an investor.

  1. Be honest. If you’re faking or pretending, people will know. Tell a personal story that’s relevant. Your emotion will come through and resonate with your listeners.
  2. Invest in your audience. This means you’ve taken the time to learn about them; you’ve taken time to think through their challenges, their struggles and their goals so you can cater your message accordingly. Look them in the eye. Show them you care.
  3. Practice. Write your speech and say it out loud. Notice sections that feel awkward and find the natural pauses and rhythms in your talk. When you get nervous, you’ll want to speak quickly. Take a deep breath. The more you practice, the more control you’ll have over your cadence.
  4. Watch others. Observe what draws you to certain speakers and repels you from others. What do they do? How do they do it? What draws you to what they are saying?
  5. Don’t worry about being perfect. Your humanness is what makes you interesting. Use mistakes to regain focus and concentrate on your main point. See if you can reduce your talk to one or two themes and keep these in your mind as you move forward. Relax and be yourself.
  6. Keep it simple. Sometimes the best messages are simply stated: they’re not overly complex or detailed, they’re not filled with graphics or images or slideshows. Work with a coach or trusted friend to pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses and remember: a personal experience can often mean more than any rehearsed oration.

Have more tips to share? What has made your speaking great? Did you fail (and what did you learn)? Tweet me @redhedlefthand.

Commitment

I was speaking with a fellow writer today. He has two kids, a humongous garden, several horses, two rambunctious dogs and a wife. “Commit to a schedule,” he said. “It’s the only way to get anything done.” He told me that we have to trick our minds. That by establishing the practice of sitting down and writing every day — even if it is two hours of futzing around with one paragraph — is important.

We commit to partners and pledge to causes and sign contracts. Why can’t we make a commitment to ourselves, to our art?

If you want to finish anything you’re proud of, you have to commit to it. Reserve that hour, set up a monthly schedule, make your work a priority. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t pay. It doesn’t matter if it feels selfish. This is your art. Commit to it.

Asking is an exercise in humility

Asking for help isn’t easy. Asking for money, for guidance, for a ride, for a raise. When we ask for something, we’re admitting there’s a gap, something we don’t have.  “Hey, I don’t have this thing that I really need. Do you?” We lack resources or knowledge or ability, but the person on the receiving end of the question has it. This dynamic can make us feel vulnerable and weak.

Needing help doesn’t indicate flaws. In fact, asking for help can be a sign of strength and growth. Asking is a characteristic of true leaders and gives others the opportunity to shine.

The next time that voice of fear rises when you need help, pause. Recognize you’re on the edge of change and savor the chance to share your work with others.

I just asked for help here. Yes, it was scary! I hate writing asking emails. But the supportive responses I’ve received and the messages of care that have filled my inbox are like cool glasses of iced tea on a hot summer day. People WANT to help. Your friends want to see you succeed, I promise. Give them the opportunity.

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Not every day is inspirational and not every work is inspired

This month I’m participating in an artist residence program. It’s my first experience like this, and I’m surrounded by trees and beauty and very talented creative people. When I first arrived, I was intimidated. Listening to the other artists’ stories and experiences and seeing their work made me feel like the outsider. I never went to art school, I’m a social worker, I’ve been living in Nepal, I’m a writer.

Determined, I pushed past my insecurities to focus on my work. I came with a goal in mind: it doesn’t have to be amazing, it doesn’t even have to be good, but I want to leave here with a solid first draft.

Most days feel like slogging through a forest. I’ve had moments of brilliance and inspiration, but more days have been clouded in despair and frustration. I decided it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if I think it’s a good story or whether it IS a good story. My work is to simply show up, put in time, and keep going.

If you sit around waiting for moments of inspiration and creative spark, you might be waiting a long time. I want to tell you to fight through it. Fight through the urge and don’t sell yourself short. You deserve to create. No matter your background or experience, make something. Build something. Dream something.

(And if you need more encouragement, check out Liz Gilbert’s Big Magic.)