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Tag: communication

Empathy 101

Create one mandated course for high school students nationwide. What does it include?

At a recent dinner, this was one of the prompts for group discussion. Without hesitation, my mind sounded one clear word.

Empathy.

  • The ability to reference another’s perspective, considering their experiences and worldview, in order to better understand behavior and intention.
  • “Putting yourself in their shoes.”
  • The capacity to recognize another’s emotions and experiences, closing the gap between self and other.
  • Identifying a [valuable] perspective different than your own
  • Requires: self awareness, confidence, openness (personal traits)
  • Requires: listening, open communication, careful observation (communication skills)
  • NOT sympathy
  • NOT pity
  • Often a precursor to compassion
  • Integral for collaborations, understanding, effective and worthwhile discussions, conflict resolution

Ask me to summarize my clinical training into one concept and this would be it.

Harry Prosen defines empathy as “an emotional understanding which allows one as a therapist to resonate with one’s patients in depth emotionally, so that it influences the therapeutic approach and alliance with the patient.”

Yet empathy belongs in more places than clinical environments. We need it in our schools, our personal lives, our government, our businesses. We need to practice it on a daily basis and teach our children to do the same. We must find ways to listen, to converse, and to respond in ways that are considerate and cognizant of the person sitting across the table.

We get into trouble when we are unable to see us in them. This is when valuable information is lost and we lose the opportunity to connect in a new way. Empathy reminds us of our collective humanity.

If you’ve noticed, the best businesses are conducted in an empathic way. The best connections are formed when two parties consider the other’s frame of reference. When empathy is involved, relationships flourish, conversations become meaningful, and solutions address the heart of the real problem.

It’s never too late to learn, and you don’t need a special appointment or degree to practice awareness. Can you bring empathy into your interactions today?

“Empathic connection is an understanding of the heart in which we see the beauty in the other person, the divine energy in the other person, the life that’s alive in them.” —Marshall Rosenberg

 

“So…what do you do?” or 20 things you can talk about when meeting someone new

A challenge:

The next time you’re at a party or social gathering, abolish “What do you do?” from your vernacular.

You will most likely find out sooner or later what someone does. There are a gazillion things you can talk about without having to ask how an individual pays bills, and the probability that the “9-5” isn’t really what gets that person going is high. Isn’t it more interesting to talk about passion?

Topics you can discuss when meeting someone for the first time:

  1. current events
  2. recent book reads
  3. projects that excite you
  4. favorite places to travel
  5. hobbies
  6. pets
  7. an embarrassing story you can laugh at now
  8. why you’re there
  9. who you are looking to meet
  10. where you’re stuck
  11. sports (whether you play, watch, or remember a hero from childhood)
  12. notable charities
  13. beverage of choice
  14. plans for the holidays / next scheduled vacation
  15. an object in space (a nearby piece of artwork or architecture of the building)
  16. something you’re looking forward to
  17. sincere compliments
  18. the weather (if you must)
  19. recent successes
  20. first memory taking risks

note: On occasion, you will meet an individual who has successfully managed to blend passion and work. Hang around this person, ask them lots of questions, and ask them to introduce you to others.

“What floor?”

There are countless tactics that can strengthen the genuine enthusiasm and personality of a brand. Companies shell out thousands of dollars to learn things like:

  • How to communicate, in an appropriate and relevant way
  • What to say so people will listen
  • How to best stimulate audience interest and involvement
  • Where to go to find the latest trends and news

Are you just as intentional with your personal brand? Do you look for situations that force you to flex?
Your “elevator speech” isn’t effective if you don’t ride elevators.