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Category: Observations

The responsibility to connect

We have tools at our fingertips to connect and unite. Different levels of support, layers of talent, examples to reference. With access comes choice.
What if “connecting” was an obligation? Would you make that call? Send that email? Reprioritize your schedule?
Your introduction could match a promising worker with an employer in need, build a bridge for a new partnership, make someone’s work a little easier.
Often, it isn’t a lack of opportunity or awareness but of willingness.

“It’s showtime.”

Audible groans fill the train. A man with a bike is asked to move, and after refusing, a much taller man carries the bike to the back of the car. Reluctantly, the biker follows. Three performers fill the empty space and press play on a steady beat. Six pack abs curl around poles as the train lurches slowly towards Brooklyn. Flipping, stomping, twirling, hopping. A second dancer begins his routine, less steady than the first. It’s impossible not to wonder if someone will be kicked in the face. You’re waiting for a slip, an accident, but miraculously it doesn’t happen.

The dancing stops, and the boys start asking for money. Except no one gives it to them. In fact, the dancers are hardly acknowledged. And they become angry.

“I’m going to quit. I’m going to stop doing this!” one performer scowls.

The commuters keep their eyes fixed on books, each other and away from the demanding, outstretched hands. “C’mon New York, where are you?” they plead. Then the insulting begins. It seems to carry on entirely too long. Their jabs become worse and more desperate and there’s a palpable tension in the air.

When we do art, when we give of ourselves and become generous with the world, we can’t ask for a certain outcome. Do your art, but make sure it’s for the right reason. Sell, market, produce, copy and manufacture all you want, but don’t demand attention. Earn it.

(H/T permission marketing, Seth Godin)

Trying less, not more

“Try is best” somehow evolved into “try harder.” If we don’t get the results we’ve set out for, it is a direct reflection of the work we’ve put forth. No success? You must’ve done something wrong. You didn’t reach the bar, you don’t measure up, you didn’t work HARD enough.

The irony is life seems to expand when you relax the muscles you’ve been stressing for so long. No only can constriction lead to strain and injury, it prohibits freedom and creativity and even limits the breath. There are moments and situations it’s not about your effort at all; it’s more about relaxing and letting go.

Like the “cool kid,” something about him is magnetic, we can’t help but stay away (Because we all think he isn’t trying; in reality, however, he’s trying very, very hard.).

So where is that middle balance between working like a dog and easing into it? What if the growth comes from easing off the gas, driving a little more relaxed and enjoying the road? It seems THAT is when success comes. And people can’t help but stay away.

It is better to earn a high salary or be happy?

This is one of the questions I ask students as part of a broader English speaking exercise. “Do you think it is better to earn a high salary or be happy in your job?”
A pause always follows and eyes dart around the room before landing on empty notebooks. I give students a few moments to process before we begin.
Many friends and colleagues in America are on the quest to find work that is both meaningful and fulfilling, regardless of pay. My own answer is obvious by the lifestyle I’ve chosen. However, for eight out of ten of my students here in Nepal, the answer is a different one. “It is better to earn a high salary.”
Various reasons follow; respect in community, less worry, the ability to travel, family responsibilities. As one student answered, “I come from poor family, and I need to take care of them.”
Which has me thinking, is job satisfaction a luxury problem?
How fortunate are we who get to choose our work! And to those who have learned how to build their own course, through freelancing and entrepreneurship, how grateful we must be for the opportunity to play by our own rules!
It is our responsibility to make sure everyone can answer this question individually, not from a place of need and necessity, but from a place of passion and thoughtful consideration. Our schools need to be filled with teachers who show students how to find the loopholes.
If you’re interested in supporting this kind of leadership and education in Nepal, kindly do so here.

Today’s opportunity

Everyone is busy and tired. Even with “nothing” to do, people still find reasons to worry. Stress is a worldwide experience, but our response differs. Consider an interview or an ESL speaking test; everyone is nervous, it’s how you’re able to manage your anxiety to perform.
We’re all hurting. Relationships disappoint, jobs are tiresome, families demand. Whether you’re in the top income bracket or the lowest, money is always an issue.
You have a choice today, a unique opportunity. It does’t need to involve a fundraiser or a charity or a huge demonstration, although it might. It’s simple: alleviate another’s pain.
Is there a kind word you can say? A message you can send? A smile? A gesture? Could you be a little more patient, more loving, more understanding towards someone else’s circumstance? Can you manage your anger, that embarrassing knee-jerk response and see the situation from a different angle? Can you listen?

Teaching people how to think

I send students home with newspapers and tell them to come ready to discuss one article tomorrow.

Newspapers are incredible learning tools; they don’t carry the “uncool” stigma of textbooks, they’re lightweight and can easily fold into bags and purses and pockets. Not only can papers be scribbled upon (great for note-taking and analysis), they have an inviting quality: “Pick me up! Read me! Pass me on!” I know when newspapers are brought home, it isn’t just the student reading it but family and friends as well.

I stress 6 Ws in these newspaper assignments:

who

what

where

why

when

Instructing my students,

Who wrote it?

What’s the point of the article?

Where does it take place?

Why was the article written?

When was the article written or when did the events take place?

And most importantly,

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

It seems many of my students haven’t been asked this question before. Public schools in Nepal teach obedience and power hierarchy, not critical thinking or self-expression. Unfortunately, even native English speakers aren’t necessarily adept at communicating their own thoughts and opinions.

As you read articles, yes, read them for content, but read between the lines. Formulate your own ideas about the topic at hand. Do you agree or disagree, strongly, or not at all? Why?

The whole point of language is to communicate. To release your thoughts into the world, to express what’s inside. Beyond the grammar, theory and parts of speech, it comes down to expression. Can you express what is in your mind and your heart?