Creating with intention
We all know the crime scene where the good guy is framed by the bad guy. “It’s not fair,” we say. “He was framed!”
We set ourselves up every day.
Happiness, good friends, a rewarding career, an organized household — they’re the result of choices. The places we go and the people we surround ourselves with result in particular outcomes.
The choices aren’t always easy, but that’s why not everyone is successful.
Set yourself up to prosper.
Collectors usually get some sort of attention. Whether it’s stamps, debt, records, insects, comics, paintings, or coins — collectors have something to show, something to talk about.
What if you viewed yourself as a collector, adding more and more unique moments to your personal high-value collection?
You’re the owner. How will you build upon your existing collection? What kind of assets will you preserve and who will be privileged enough hear about it (or see it)?
The more experiences you obtain, the more interesting you become. With interesting stories, there’s no doubt you’ll attract an audience.
That goes for brands and people, too.
Happily-ever-afters. Great escapes. Exotic adventures. Fairytales. You’ve read them, you’ve dreamed of them, you listen enviously as your friends tell them. “They can’t be real,” you skeptically reason.
STOP.
This isn’t stuff reserved for children’s tales. It isn’t luck. You can live one, too.
But it won’t happen magically. You’ll have to do some work. Here are some tips to help you on your way:
1. Get honest.
Find a place with no distractions. Create time in your schedule to be there without needing to answer emails or rush off to meetings. If you must send yourself an invite, do it.
List things you’re really good at on a piece of paper (or a cocktail napkin). This list doesn’t necessarily need to be things you like or enjoy. You’re writing down your skills and key areas of competency — things you know you can rock out in your sleep.
Use another sheet of paper to list things that bring you joy. You don’t need to “be good” at these; you just need to love doing them. If you have a really, really, really shitty day, where do you turn to lift your spirits?
2. Dream big.
Don’t sell yourself short with this. Ask yourself: If you could do ANYTHING, ANYWHERE, what would it be?
Quiet the voice that laughs or says, “Impossible.”
Are you a professional writer living out of your Cape Cod beach home with a golden retriever and an adoring partner?
Have fun with this. And be specific.
3. Start small.
Rome wasn’t built in one day; yours won’t be either. Looking at the big picture can be overwhelming. Small, tiny steps will do just fine.
Maybe it starts with a stroll through your local bookstore to see which sections excite you. Maybe it’s taking a day off work to shadow someone at a local agency or maybe you visit a museum.
Before you begin to obsess about writing business plans, finding part-time work, or quitting your job, move in manageable bursts.
4. You will get frustrated.
Read that again.
It will happen. You will want to give up. You’ll be pissed at yourself for trying; the obstacles will become insurmountable. You won’t feel like you’re making any progress. IT IS OK. Accept this, acknowledge your frustration, and move on.
Sometimes, functioning is fine.
Take yourself to a movie that inspires you. Regain your strength. The important thing is not to lose momentum.
5. Orient yourself.
As long as you’re moving, you’re golden. It’s being stuck that will raise red flags (or white). For now, it doesn’t matter the direction. Just move.
6. You need someone.
Have one person in your corner. There will be times you don’t believe in yourself. Know someone who does, someone who is OK with seeing you at your worst.
7. Self-care.
Make a list of ten things that bring you comfort. They can be small — something like listening to music or lighting a candle — or big — booking a massage or buying a plane ticket. Commit to two each day.
Let me know how it goes.
Align yourself with people you emulate, whose lives you admire.
You need a template (if you don’t already have one).
By watching someone else prove it can be done, you’ll feel encouraged to make it happen.
If you go into a situation thinking it is valuable, it will be.
If you walk into a room thinking you’re defeated, you are.
If you know you’re ready to meet the partner of your dreams, you will.
If you are looking for inspiration, you’ll find it.
When it feels uncomfortable, you’re growing.
Move. Work your muscles. Find new environments and new situations and new trails to blaze.
Contorting yourself into new positions doesn’t necessarily feel good.
Challenging yourself isn’t a challenge if it’s easy.