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Want more? 7 ways to raise your standards today

“You dont get what you want, you get what you tolerate.”

Tonya Leigh

Tonya Leigh has great perspective on living life artfully and well. She encourages her clients to establish a Red Velvet Rope policy — the idea that you treat your life like a carefully cultivated VIP nightclub. Imagine a strict dress code, exclusive invites, and the best party around.

Sometimes, without even realizing it, we lower our standards. The way we speak to ourselves. How we treat ourselves. What we think of our own accomplishments.

Our minds determine what we are capable of.

When you raise the bar on your own life, you raise your standards. When your standards are lifted, your life will automatically experience an upgrade. Here are 7 ways you can raise your standards today:

1. Upgrade what you put into your mind. The books you read, the podcasts you listen to, the magazines you consume, the accounts you follow.

2. Change your conversations. Notice when negative outweighs the positive. Focus on creation, not destruction.

3. Invest in yourself. Sign up for a class, set a goal you hope to accomplish by the end of the month, schedule time to hit the gym, find a life coach.

4. Stop worrying. Anxiety chases dreams. Make a list of your worries, then set it aside. Sure, some fear is justified and real, but worrying won’t help you level up.

5. Edit your relationships. Minimize time spent with gossips and energy vampires. Find like-minded dreamers who encourage each other to succeed.

6. Expect more. Expect more from yourself and those close to you. You’ll love the results.

7. Rewrite definitions. So much of the way we see the world and ourselves comes down to definition. Those definitions can be changed. Tony Robbins says most people simply give up, stop trying, and accept “That’s just the way it is.” It doesn’t have to be this way.

Raising your standards isn’t about making money or becoming famous. This is about mindset.

Expect more. You’re worth it. 

1:1 coaching – in person or online

After receiving so many requests to “pick my brain,” I’m offering one-on-one coaching slots, both in-person and online. We can talk about community building, organizing, branding, marketing, personal development, and more.

What’s available:

  • New York, New York (face-to-face – limited slots available)
  • Denver-Boulder, Colorado (face-to-face – limited slots available)
  • Worldwide – Zoom or Skype call (live and online)

If you’d like to schedule time with me or wonder how I might help you, send me a note. I enjoy watching others make the most out of life.

Be the observer

What do you see?

Opportunity or obstacle?

Loneliness or space to create?

Connection or obligation?

Necessity or investment?

Inconvenience or growth?

Pain or lesson?

Those who are against you or those who push you to do better?

The difference between success and defeat is often a matter of perspective. Track your thoughts. Record the way you see the world. It may be time for a change.

Hiring and firing can make or break you

I had to make some difficult decisions this week. A few team players haven’t been pulling their weight, so after several discussions trying to find the root of the problem, we had to have The Conversation.

There are moments to recognize when it’s time to move on. Passions may be mismatched, vision lost, energy depleted. Firing doesn’t need to reflect an individual’s potential; in fact, letting someone go gives them permission to find the position that will bring them prosperity and happiness (if it was the role at hand, the conversation would probably not be taking place to begin with).

The right team can catapult your project to success while a mismanaged bunch can send even the best, most meticulous plans to the gutter. It’s important to identify an individual’s motives and skills; it’s equally important to remember that even the more alluring incentives may not work.

One of the biggest decisions you’ll make in your life is who you spend time with. Friends, colleagues and spouses have significant power over you. If you’ve ever worked in an office where colleagues were dismal and did barely what was needed to get by, you know the feeling you get when you’re around energy suckers. Or if you’ve been in a relationship that’s failed to meet your needs and validate you as a remarkable being, you’ve experienced that temporary loss of personal strength and clarity. It’s hard to create and build and dream when these kinds of people fill your days.

When you have the power to assemble a team, choose wisely, and have the compassion and empathy to recognize when it’s not working. Then, with kindness and care, let the other person go.